Editor's note: The below recap contains spoilers for What If...? Season 3 Episode 4.
Parenthood can be challenging at the best of times, but it's probably made infinitely more difficult when you're a new parent trying to, do their best and then aliens, government agencies, and the multiverse come a-knocking. Such is the problem faced by Howard the Duck (Seth Green) and Darcy the Duck, née Lewis (Kat Dennings) in What If...? Season 3, Episode 4, which asks not only "What If... Howard the Duck Got Hitched?" but also follows that up with, what if Howard and Darcy's firstborn child turns out to be of the utmost importance to several interested parties, none of whom have the parents or the baby's best interests in mind. You know, just some light holiday fare this December 25th. Let's dive in.
Howard the Duck and Darcy Welcome a Baby in 'What If...?' Season 3 Episode 4
The episode begins at the hospital, where a nurse hands Darcy her and Howard's baby, capturing the moment for them on Howard's camcorder. The two coo over their little bundle of joy, and if you're wondering whether the baby looks more like Darcy or Howard, the answer right now is neither, as they're still just an egg. At least for now. Howard is unsure how long it will take for the egg to hatch, but that doesn't matter. The new parents are smitten. The Watcher (Jeffrey Wright) interjects into the wholesome moment, ominously sharing that as much as the baby changed Howard and Darcy's lives, they're also destined to change everyone else's lives as well. But how did this even come to be? The Watcher throws things back to Season 1, Episode 7, "What If Thor Were an Only Child," showing how Howard and Darcy first hit things off at the God of Thunder's giant rager in Las Vegas, getting married that same night. The Watcher adds that the whole world changed that night, as many of the extra-terrestrials that arrived on Earth for the party simply never left and chose to make their homes there instead.
Darcy and Howard take their little egg home and tuck it in with that sweetest of lullabies, "I Was Made For Lovin' You" by KISS, much to their upstairs neighbor's anger. With their baby presumably asleep — it's hard to tell with an egg — the two of them head out for some quiet time when they get a knock on the door. It's not the lady from upstairs preparing to berate them further for their choice of song, but rather Topaz (Rachel House), the Grandmaster's (Matt Friend) bodyguard. She gives them two all-expense-paid tickets to a leisure cruise through the stars hosted by the Grandmaster. They're surprised to be receiving these tickets at all, let alone so personally, but far be it from them to reject a free vacation. The two of them head onto the ship with their baby in tow — I guess the Grandmaster operates on Disney World logic, where those under 3 get in for free — and are pulled up on board. But it's not going to be smooth sailing, as the two of them are being watched by Yondu (Michael Rooker), who communicates to his "buyer" that he will intercept the "package" off-world.
In the ship's atrium, the two of them are greeted personally by the Grandmaster, who welcomes them and, upon spying their egg, makes a quick mention of the baby being the reason they're all there today. Before either of them can ask what that ominous comment is supposed to mean, he introduces them to a fleet of childcare robots designed to allow them to take some time for themselves. After a moment's hesitation, they leave the egg with the robots — which makes me think they maybe didn't hear the Grandmaster's comment at all — then follow him to the welcome brunch where he informs them they're the guests of honor, and seats them at the head of the table. They also don't question why they're the guests of honor on this massive cruise full of people, but we can probably chalk that up to sleep deprivation from the new baby.
Darcy inspects the menu and tells Howard she can't read it since it's in an alien language. He takes out his phone to translate the text, and the phone gradually shows him the results, which, depending on which words are missing, either implies that he and Darcy are honored guests or the main course. The truth turns out to be closer to the latter, as the Grandmaster is planning on serving their baby to the assembled crowd. Howard pieces it together long after Darcy does, and after she's started trying to get his attention. The baby is saved from being roasted, not by Howard and Darcy, but by Yondu, who has arrived to take the egg for himself.
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SHIELD, the Ravagers, and Dormammu All Chase a Baby in 'What If...?' Season 3 Episode 4
Image via Marvel Studios
While chaos ensues, Darcy and Howard make a run for the life rafts to pursue Yondu and save their baby. They're right on his tail until he passes through a wormhole that closes behind him, and Darcy loses hope and says they can't do this alone. She decides to call in the authorities, specifically Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg) and Director Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) from SHIELD, for help. Before bringing Fury to the call, Coulson tells him that this might be a lead to the "Convergence" they've been looking for. Darcy and Howard demand to know why everyone is suddenly after their baby, and Fury assures them that recovering the egg is SHIELD's top priority. He asks them what they know about the Cosmic Convergence, and all Darcy remembers is that the planetary alignment happened on her due date. When Fury explains that the Convergence was the sign of a new power being born, Darcy and Howard realize that everyone assumes their baby is that new power.
Coulson tries to sidebar with Fury, but Howard enhances the video feed and they're able to overhear that the Ravager ship is headed to meet with The Collector in the Cat's Eye galaxy. Fury promises to make sure their baby is kept out of the wrong hands — but notably makes no promise to return it — and hangs up, but Howard says they don't need to wait for SHIELD to figure it out, since they know where the Collector is: Knowhere. Over on the skull-shaped planet, Yondu heads to the Collector's to meet with him, but is instead introduced to Master Kaecillius (Jared Butler), who trapped the Collector in the mirror dimension in order to wait for the arrival of the egg. Yondu tells him he's got all kinds of offers for the egg, and tries to up the price, but Kaecillius draws on the power of the Dark Dimension to hypnotize Yondu and take the egg for himself, leaving the Ravager to be killed by his disciples.
Darcy and Howard arrive on Knowhere, and sneak around through the sewage tunnels until they pass underneath a room where Kaecillius and his disciples are performing a ritual. They don robes and join the procession, trying to fit in until they figure out what's going on, and to their horror find their baby is at the center of it all. They ask one of the other disciples what's going on, but all she tells them is that the "ensoulment" is about to begin. That doesn't sound terrifying at all. It becomes even more terrifying when they summon Dormammu, offering the egg as a body in which his soul can be reborn to live once again. Before Darcy and Howard can stop them, help comes in the form of Fury and Coulson, who scare everyone away with gas canisters and catch the egg. They get into a standoff with Kaecillius and tell him everyone will be better off with the egg in SHIELD's care, which is absolutely not something Howard and Darcy signed up for. They try to get their baby back from Fury, but he tells them that SHIELD can't trust the egg to them either. Kaecillius makes a last-ditch attempt to take the egg, warping the room using his powers and sending the egg bouncing in and out of the room through various portals. It eventually lands in front of Darcy and Howard, and they take advantage of the chaos to grab their baby and go.
They fly away from Knowehre to the news that SHIELD has issued an alert for the egg, forcing them to find somewhere safe to hide. Luckily, Howard has a pretty "cool" idea: Jotunheim, where Frost Giant Loki (Tom Hiddleston) is getting ready to open his very own luxury ski resort. They ask him for shelter while they're on the run from SHIELD — Darcy still sporting her sleeveless shirt and not shivering at all, proving no one in this universe knows what cold is — and Loki agrees to harbor them. His offer comes not a moment too soon as SHIELD are hot on their heels, with Fury and Colson landing planetside to take the egg back. Loki leads them away, running straight into Laufey (Andrew Morgado) and his warriors. He asks Laufey for help but Laufey has another idea: take the egg for themselves to restore Jotunheim to its former glory — though for what it's worth, a ski resort sounds way more fun.
Loki Helps Howard the Duck and Darcy Save Their Baby in 'What If...?' Season 3 Episode 4
Image via Disney
Loki is mortified that his father would treat his friends like this, and suggests Thor wouldn't be too pleased with this. A bolt of lightning destroys the ski lodge and seems to prove his point, until they realize it isn't Thor. It's Zeus (Darin De Paul), presumably one of Yondu's buyers who has come to collect. With every force imaginable converging on them — including the arrival of the Dark Elves and Kaecillius — Darcy and Howard flee with their egg. They run into Thanos's (Josh Brolin) children, who had initially come for a company retreat, but are now vastly more interested in this all-powerful kid they've got with them. They call in Thanos — unamused that he was brought all this way for an egg — just as the Grandmaster arrives — and also the Skrulls are here now — and pulls the egg up onto his ship. For a midseason episode that isn't even the culmination of a few different plot points, there is just way too much going on in this episode. Somewhere along the way, it crossed the line from an understandable threat to just noise. Zeus strikes the ship with a bolt, which causes the whole thing to fall out of the sky. They get away and sled down the mountain on a broken-off piece of machinery, through some miracle, all without the egg cracking. Darcy and Howard have a quiet moment alone at the bottom of the mountain as the horde approaches, resigning themselves to this not ending well.
Before losing their baby to persons unknown, the two of them give it one more rendition of "I Was Made For Lovin' You" and that act of parental love is all the egg needs to hatch at last. Though it's less a hatching and more "rising in a glowing beam of light above the battlefield before finally hatching." Once the egg hatches, the baby inside blasts most of the surrounding beings with light, killing them — though Loki, Laufey, Coulson, and Fury wisely take cover — before a little baby girl finally lowers into her parents' arms. Howard and Darcy are ready to fight Fury to keep their baby, but he tells them right away that he's happy to leave the baby with them, now that they've proven they're more than up to the task of keeping her safe — which is great because a story about a government agency deciding to take a child away from loving parents for their own safety is not the sort of lighthearted fare we want from our animated superhero shows this holiday season. Fury and Coulson leave, and Loki and Laufey offer Darcy and Howard a free stay at the lodge, and as grateful as they are, they choose to head home with little Byrdie and put her to bed under the Watcher's watchful eye.
The first four episodes of What If...? are streaming now on Disney+.
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Review
Howard the Duck and Darcy fight to save their baby in What If Season 3's chaotic Episode 4
Pros
Darcy and Howard make weirdly endearing parents.
Frost Giant Loki is always adorable for how earnest he is.
Cons
The finale had too much going on, with too many players in the mix.
What If...?
Based on the Marvel Comics series of the same name, this animated anthology looks at alternate timelines in the multiverse that would happen if specific moments in the MCU occurred differently.
Image via Disney+
Image via Marvel Studios
Image via Disney
English (US) ·