Sophie Habboo says she feels 'sad' looking back at her wedding and recalls 'spiralling' because she didn't think she could call it off - as she reveals the link to her ADHD diagnosis

Sophie Habboo has opened up about the 'sadness' she feels when looking back on her wedding to Jamie Laing because of how anxious she felt at the time.

The TV personality, 31, who admitted she had dreamed of an intimate beach wedding, was swept up in a 250 guest affair in Sotogrande, Spain.

Sophie revealed that she was overwhelmed by the big white wedding and 'spiralled' because she felt that she couldn't call off their day.

Speaking on Elizabeth Day's How To Fail podcast, Sophie explained that she feels 'compassion' for the younger version of herself who was struggling at the time.

The former Made In Chelsea star said she was so affected she began to see a therapist, who encouraged her to seek an ADHD test after recognising symptoms.

The test confirmed that Sophie did have ADHD and it has helped her to come to terms with why she struggled to much with the overwhelming nature of a big wedding.

Explaining how she discovered that she has ADHD following the overwhelming period in the lead up to her 2023 wedding, she said: I'm still getting to know myself, it's a long old process. 

'When we got engaged and started the wedding process, I always said to Jamie and he'll say this as well - I love my husband so much and he's amazing, so I don't want to sound like I'm bashing him but he always wanted this huge big white wedding, loads of people and he wanted to walk down the aisle in a white suit.

'I told him straight away I wanted to get married with 20 people, with my feet in the sand. I don't like birthday parties. It's funny because I do the podcast and when I'm in the work environment I can do it, but in my private time I'm quite a private person and I don't love being the centre of attention.

She continued by explaining that everyone was telling her it is what she should want for herself, satying: 'When we were getting married he was very much like this is the big white wedding, this is what everyone dreams of. 

'Everyone was saying it, not just him [Jamie]. We've grown up thinking women want this big white wedding.

'But I was incredibly overwhelmed, which then caused me to have massive anxiety. Then obviously the podcast, we're so lucky that so many people were interested in it, but it became like a big spectacle weirdly. That made me have imposter syndrome, I was really struggling with massive overwhelm and anxiety.'

'I was looking around thinking everyone is so excited for me, everyone is rooting for us I'm going to have this incredible wedding of people's dreams, why am I not able to cope with this? My anxiety got so bad I went and spoke to a therapist and they said I think we need to get you tested for ADHD, have you ever been tested for it?

'And low and behold, I have ADHD. I know everyone talks about ADHD and it's a bit of a buzzword at the moment, but having gone through what I've gone through, everyone handles it differently. But now I know I have it, it makes a lot of sense. It's tough to manage if you've been diagnosed with it.'

Admitting she wished she would have received an earlier diagnosis, Sophie said: 'But I found the chaos of it really overwhelming. That is one of my failures, because if I'd of been diagnosed earlier I would have been able to understand and have more compassion for myself.

'It's really sad for me to look back at our wedding, in so many ways it was the best day of my life and I should have enjoyed it so much. But I was just really struggling and I didn't cope as well as I could have done. Because I didn't know what was wrong with me.'

When asked if she wanted to call the whole thing off in favour of a smaller wedding, Sophie said: 'Weirdly because I didn't think that was an option was what caused the anxiety to spiral, I just held it all in because I was so confused about what I was feeling.

'I'd always wanted to be in entertainment, so be on stage and be an actor, so why could I not cope with with all of this attention.

'We did a live show a month before our wedding, all of those things. I couldn't understand why I wasn't managing, I thought there was something wrong with me. So I didn't speak about it and say I'm really struggling and I'm anxious. I actually don't want this enormous 250 person wedding, I want to just go and get married on a beach with bare feet, the fact I didn't say those things made me worse.

'I feel sad looking back at it, I can see that I was struggling. I was really burnt out. I have compassion, but that's only been since I got diagnosed and I unpacked it and did a lot of work on myself after my wedding.'

Sophie said that she would like to renew her wedding vows and have a ceremony in the style that she would have originally liked.

She said: 'I think about it all the time. I've said it to him and hes like, yeah we'll make it into a huge thing. And I'm like no! That's the point!'

Two years after their wedding, the couple welcomed their son Ziggy.

They have just released a Disney+ series about the arrival of their son, four months, and their new life as a family of three. 

Sophie recently opened up on the explosive rows she had with husband following the birth of their son ahead of the release of the TV series. 

Three-part series Raising Chelsea, which is available to watch now, follows the former Made In Chelsea stars as they face the reality of becoming parents. 

It follows Sophie and Jamie from her early pregnancy to labour and finally meeting their baby son.

Sophie admitted: 'I'll just say that our team that filmed with us really filmed everything – we filmed for about nine months and they were with us the whole time. 

'There were times where I thought, “That surely isn't going to be kept in. That's not going to be aired,” and then watching back, I'm like, “Ugh!”, but it's life.'

Sophie continued of the pressures of juggling parenthood alongside work, and renovating their house in the wake of welcoming their baby: 'It was constant, nearly a breakdown every day.'