Nicole Kidman reveals why her 2003 Oscar win left her feeling 'so lonely': 'I've got to get a life'

Nicole Kidman has admitted she felt 'beyond lonely' after winning an Academy Award in 2003.

The 59-year-old, who won the Best Actress Oscar for her role as Virginia Woolf in the drama The Hours, made the candid confession during a recent appearance on Jake Shane's podcast Therapuss. 

'I had the pinnacle of my success, and I went home and was so lonely,' Kidman admitted, with the win coming less than two years after her split from husband Tom Cruise. 

'Crazy, though, that sort of confluence of events where you go, "I wish I had..." I had my mum with me and my dad, but I was like, "Where's my partner? Where's someone that I can share this with, where you can jump on the bed?" 

'It was like one of the most profound moments where I went, "I've got to get a life,"' she admitted.

Kidman, who was 35 at the time, recalled thinking to herself: 'I'd love to be able to just, you know, be wrapped in somebody's arms right now. I'd love to be around now, something that feels really, "Oh, OK. This is my real life."' 

Kidman filmed The Hours and won her first and only Oscar in the wake of her divorce from Cruise, to whom she was married from 1990 to 2001. 

She would later go on to wed country crooner Keith Urban in 2006. 

Kidman and Urban called it quits last year, however, and finalized their divorce at the beginning of this year after 19 years of marriage. 

The former couple are parents to two teenage daughters: Sunday Rose, 18, and Faith Margaret, 15. 

Kidman and Cruise previously adopted two children during their marriage, daughter Isabella, 33, and son Connor, 31. 

In the past, Kidman also recalled 'struggling' with her personal life when she won her Oscar. 

'I was struggling with things in my personal life, yet my professional life was going so well,' she told author Dave Karger in his book, 50 Oscar Nights. 

'That's what happens, right?' 

She said after her win, she wanted to go home early. 

'I'm not a big party girl, so I was going to skip the Vanity Fair party, and everyone was like, "You've got to go. You've got to walk through the party carrying your Academy Award,"' she recalled. 

'I said, "That just feels like gloating, and it doesn't feel humble." Like, what? You can't walk through carrying the award! That feels really inappropriate. They're like, "That's what you do."' 

Kidman said she ended up making a brief appearance at the afterparty in the end, but she recalled not having a good time. 

'So I literally walked in, carried it around, was completely overwhelmed, emotional, shaking, and I didn't enjoy it,' she said. 

'I was almost apologetic, which is so stupid. I wish I could have enjoyed it more.'