10 Blockbuster Movies You Absolutely Should Not Watch With Your Kids

Imagine being traumatized as a child over kids’ movies and then watching giant dinosaurs eating humans, naughty cartoon characters, or a terrifying horror movie that had no business being rated PG. Though some parents may disagree, the 10 titles on his list are a tad too inappropriate for the kiddos. Yes, some of us snuck into the living room to catch a peek of these films, but retrospectively, perhaps not the best idea! Many of these films are brilliant, just simply not for kids.

1 'Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me' (1999)

Yeah, baby! After the first film saw the titular character ask, “Shall we shag now, or shag later?”, the indication was that the James Bond-esque parody was going to get raunchier in the sequel. Just look at the title! In Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, Austin Powers (Mike Myers) must travel back to 1969 to recover his stolen "mojo". Dr. Evil steals this mojo, causing Austin to lose his sexual charisma, and uses it to fuel a giant laser, alongside his new clone, Mini-Me. Teaming up with American agent Felicity Shagwell (Heather Graham), Austin must stop Dr. Evil before it’s too late. With sex being the absolute central focus of the sequel, even with some subtle innuendo, the film prides itself on being raunchy and filthy for the laugh.

An absolute box office smash, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me might be the best in the trilogy because, after already establishing itself, he had the freedom to go all out. With the parallels directly tied to the James Bond franchise, tapping into the source material's sexual nature was low-hanging fruit for the film to snag. Despite using terms like “shag” and “mojo” to soften the blow, there’s no way to shield children’s eyes from the non-stop sexual references. For the third character in Myers' arsenal, Fat Bastard, a composite of evil henchmen, served as a recurring punchline for his gross-out humor and flatulence. While children might laugh at a fart joke, they’re slapped right in between the sex jokes and scantily clad characters. Suggestive beyond compare, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me is just not for kids. Teens, you may get a slight pass.

2 'Deadpool & Wolverine' (2024)

The moment that Ryan Reynolds’ Deadpool officially entered the MCU, there was grave concern that the fourth-wall-breaking, foul-mouthed hero would be sanitized for a family-tinged adventure. The moment it was announced it was going to be rated R, the first in the MCU, it was official: Kids were going to have to sit this feature out. Though some parents likely neglected the previous films, they saw it was canonically MCU, and let the kiddos watch. Graphic and dirty, Deadpool & Wolverine is an A+ film for adults only. In the third Deadpool film, Wade Wilson (Reynolds) traverses the multiverse to find a replacement Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) after the TVA reveals his timeline is decaying due to Logan’s death. Together, they combat Paradox and Cassandra Nova (Emma Corrin) to stop the destruction of his universe, with Logan becoming the new "Anchor Being". With strong, graphic violence, pervasive language, including over 100 F-bombs, and explicit sexual references, Deadpool & Wolverine is not your average MCU blockbuster.

Even as it forced the character into a new multiverse, the film captured exactly what audiences adored about the first two films. With a “fuckton” of swearing, it was true to the character. Wolverine, though? Not so much. Had you adored Jackman’s long-running Wolverine, seeing him in a new atmosphere might be jarring for younger viewers. And that’s after seeing him as a skeleton. Either way, with a gritty, nihilistic tone, Deadpool & Wolverine is a welcome diversion from previous entries, but that doesn’t mean it’s for kids. Even though it’s a masterpiece film, when Deadpool pops back into the MCU again, take some discretion.

3 'Gladiator' (2000)

There is absolutely no doubt that you’ll be entertained by Gladiator. But if you let a bunch of middle schoolers watch it at a sleepover, chances are at least one kid will be traumatized. Not that I was that kid, but I was at that sleepover! Directed by Ridley Scott, the authentic and graphic epic tells the story of Maximus Decimus Meridius (Russell Crowe), a beloved Roman general betrayed when Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix), the ambitious son of Emperor Marcus Aurelius (Richard Harris), murders his father and seizes the throne. Enslaved and forced into the gladiator arena, Maximus rises through the ranks, seeking vengeance against the new emperor while striving to restore the Roman Republic. Gladiator became the blueprint for 21st-century epics. All thanks to the bold, graphic, and violent depiction that left little to the imagination.

Scott did a mighty job dropping viewers into an immersive Ancient Rome. In doing so, he presented the immense brutality that many men faced at the whims of the powerful. The battle sequences were expertly directed and choreographed. Gladiator is a powerful film of vengeance, with Maximus becoming one of the best cinematic heroes. Still, it’s a film best saved for high school-aged kids when they’re perhaps learning about that history. As much as boys may think they’re ready for this film, chances are they’re not!

4 'Independence Day' (1996)

Aliens have always been a major factor in drawing audiences to blockbuster films. While the occasional movie depicts extraterrestrials as kind equals, the majority portray them as scary, horrific outsiders seeking a hostile takeover. That's what Independence Day was. Perhaps the biggest alien blockbuster of the decade, it chronicles the arrival of massive extraterrestrial ships over major Earth cities on July 2, sparking global panic. After the aliens launch a coordinated attack, a small group of survivors, including Captain Steven Hiller (Will Smith), analyst David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum), and President Thomas Whitmore (Bill Pullman), unite to launch a counterattack on July 4th. Independence Day is an action-packed blockbuster that satisfies the popcorn movie formula while spooking viewers with the terrifying prospect of a war against aliens.

A very patriotic premise, Independence Day is a mind-blowing visual extravaganza. You will be entirely enthralled by the cinematography and atmosphere that director Roland Emmerich brings to the film. But like the Xenomorphs in Ridley Scott’s Alien, these creatures are absolutely terrifying. The Harvesters had this menacing head with tendrils that could whip you silly. They may not be able to beat a Xenomorph, but they are a strong rival! If scary alien encounters, body horror, and children in peril are not for you, neither will this film. Independence Day is a ‘90s classic, but for the millennials who sat in the theaters to watch the all-star cast become total badasses, you likely still have the image of the White House being destroyed ingrained in your mind. ​​​​​​​

5 'Jaws' (1975)

The theme to Jaws is one of the most iconic and visceral tunes in pop culture. Though it has been sanitized in the 21st century as the intro to “Baby Shark,” for individuals who had their formative years prior to the viral sensation, when you hear those chords, it’s best to dart out of the ocean! Steven Spielberg’s Jaws changed how we view the deep blue sea forever. And for impressionable kids, had you tuned into this film, chances are you’d have a temper tantrum if you were being dragged for a beach day. The blockbuster action thriller follows Chief Martin Brody (Roy Scheider), marine biologist Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss), and professional shark hunter Quint (Robert Shaw) as they hunt down a man-eating great white shark that terrorizes beachgoers in the quaint New England summer resort town of Amity Island.

A newfound horror film, Jaws is a brilliant depiction of fear and how it can take a toll on even the bravest amongst us. Except the kiddos. Jaws is the reason why an entire generation likely never wanted to learn to swim. With vivid depictions of graphic gore, including body dismemberment, Jaws is the film that leaves a lasting impression. For cinephiles, that’s a major factor in the film’s glory. Again, not for the kids, so terrified that they may fear a menacing shark might be in the pool! The truth is, when one of the most prominent victims of the shark attack is a young child, Alex Kintner (Jeffrey Voorhees), it’s utterly distressing. Just a reminder: when Jaws came out, film ratings were much more lenient, so from today’s perspective, a PG rating is absolutely mind-blowing.

6 'Jurassic Park' (1993)

It’s inevitable that as a kid, you had an affinity for dinosaurs. Whether an obsession or appreciation, dinosaurs have become synonymous with the wonderment surrounding them. The early 90s saw the rise of dinosaurs. For young viewers, with animated features like The Land Before Time and We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story, the prehistoric creatures were fun and lovable. So, when Steven Spielberg brought live-action dinosaurs to the screen, the logical deduction was that it would be a happy celebration of dinosaurs in the same vein he created with E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Well, Jurassic Park was a science fiction thriller that made some dinos terrifying.

The cautionary tale about the dangers of genetic engineering, Jurassic Park tells the story of a wealthy businessman, John Hammond (Richard Attenborough), and a team of genetic scientists who build a wildlife park on Isla Nublar, near Costa Rica, where genetically recreated dinosaurs roam free. But when industrial sabotage triggers a catastrophic shutdown of the park's power facilities and security systems, the visitors to Jurassic Park struggle to survive as carnivorous creatures escape their confines. The prospect of walking among these prehistoric creatures sounds glorious, but Jurassic Park destroyed that dream in one fell swoop. Spielberg holds nothing back, ensuring fear is a major part of building the perfect atmosphere. There is blood and death, which was inevitable. Though some moments of levity are presented, as funny as it was to see a man get ripped out of a toilet and eaten, it’s also utterly scary. So parents, hang onto your butts because your dinosaur-loving kiddo might have a change of heart after watching this classic blockbuster. My little brother sure did!

7 'Mad Max: Fury Road' (2015)

Gender roles have taught us that young boys love cars and trucks. Well, basically anything that goes vroom on wheels. But as fast and as high-octane a film about dystopian cars might seem appealing to a youngster, Mad Max: Fury Road is simply not for kids. In the fourth iteration of the George Miller franchise, Mad Max: Fury Road follows Max Rockatansky (Tom Hardy), who joins forces with Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron) against warlord Immortan (Hugh Keays-Byrne) and his army. Setting out on a large-spanning road battle in the desert wasteland where petrol and water are scarce commodities, Mad Max: Fury Road is a relentless thrill ride that keeps your heart racing from start to finish. As exciting as the film is, with disturbing images, intense violence, and some quite mature and sexually explicit plot lines, this is an adults-only blockbuster.

Miller's masterpiece is a poignant story that depicts a savage society obsessed with war, resource hoarding, and cult-like devotion. In order to push those themes to extremes, humanity is ripped straight out of the film as many, if not all, of the characters suffer from dehumanization. In turn, that includes the wives who are thrust into sexual slavery, War Boys bowing down to the whims of a ruthless individual, and inhalation of a chrome aerosol paint to get high before dying. These visceral moments are simply too much for a young viewer. As much fun as it is to see the high-octane chase scenes, the rest of the movie is psychologically damaging for those unprepared.

8 'Poltergeist' (1982)

"They're here!" When the darling Carol Anne Freeling (Heather O'Rourke) uttered those words, one of the scariest movies was officially underway. Poltergeist became one of the greatest and most influential horror films of all time. With a child at the center of the story and a PG rating, one might think that the Tobe Hooper-directed movie was a wonderful family film. The truth is, Poltergeist was the exact opposite. The classic horror thriller tells the tale of the Freeling family, whose suburban home is invaded by malevolent ghosts. As the spirits begin with playful antics, the terror soon escalates, abducting Carol Anne via a television portal. In order to get their daughter back, Steve and Diane Freeling (Craig T. Nelson and JoBeth Williams) turn to the paranormal help to rescue her from another dimension. Another example of a soft rating in a very different era, Poltergeist may be a gateway horror film, but meant solely for an older demographic.

Compared to many horror films, Poltergeist focuses more on atmospheric scares than on blood and gore. Yet, that fear factor is amped up to high volume. From demonic trees to a terrifying clown to a hallucination of a face being torn off, Poltergeist is a film where nightmares are born. There's a very high chance your child might be mortified at turning on the television because of the fear of ghosts coming through to take them away. A great sign of brilliant horror, but Poltergeist is a blockbuster that should be kept away from young kids. These ghosts are definitely not Casper the Friendly Ghost.

9 'South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut' (1999)

If we pull back and analyze the impact South Park had on society and pop culture, it was inevitable that Trey Parker and Matt Stone would find a way to capitalize on their hit series for the big screen. Two years after the show's debut, South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut was censored-free and much more inappropriate than the Comedy Central show. When the show first debuted, some parents gave in and let their kids watch, thinking it was just another adult sitcom like The Simpsons. It was not. It was worse. South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut followed the town's children, led by Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny, who see an R-rated Terrance and Phillip movie. Their parents blame Canada, triggering a war, a pact between Satan and Saddam Hussein, and the boys' mission to stop it. The meta-commentary allowed the film to focus on the hypocrisy of blaming the media for children's behavior rather than parenting. Even with the moral of the story being the parents' understanding of their own errors, those same real-life parents let this one seep into their own homes.

Pushing the bounds to the brink, its deliberate, extreme parody of censorship, rampant profanity, and explicit sexual and violent content was meant to defy the Motion Picture Association of America. And if kids got a hold of it, they experienced it all. The brilliance of the film was that it knew exactly what it was doing. In order to hammer home the point of how parents put the blame on themselves, the film was littered with nearly 150 uses of the f-word, with 399 swear words overall, graphic sexual innuendo, and intense violence. Don't let animation fool you. It's not always meant for the kids! And you certainly can't blame Canada for this one.

10 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' (1988)

As just mentioned, not everything with animation was appropriate for kids. When it comes to Who Framed Roger Rabbit, the hit 1988 film toes the line. It's a Disney-owned film featuring beloved cartoon characters, but even with Donald and Daffy Duck roaming around, they were overshadowed by murdered toons and the busty bombshell, Jessica Rabbit (Kathleen Turner). Directed by Robert Zemeckis, the live-action and animated hybrid set in an alternative-history Hollywood follows a world where humans and toons coexist. Private investigator Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins), a man with a grudge against toons, must help Roger Rabbit (Charles Fleischer), who is framed for murder. As much as this film appealed to a younger audience, its darker tone and overtly sexual character might have said otherwise.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit was heavy with adult innuendo, dark themes like alcoholism, and utterly frightening scenes. Watching Judge Doom's (Christopher Lloyd) eyes bulge out may make an impression, but nothing is more traumatic than watching the "dipping" of a toon shoe. Who Framed Roger Rabbit fell somewhere between classic cartoon tropes and adult elements. While we may be used to seeing cartoons run through brick walls and have anvils fall on their heads, here, toons being crushed, burned, and electrocuted had consequences. There was no comical soundtrack that helped them bounce back to life. Though violence was a main element of the film, raunchiness was a central one. Even though Baby Herman (Lou Hirsch) was downright horndog, Jessica Rabbit will forever be the most sexually explicit character. An icon for adults, an awakening for children. Who Framed Roger Rabbit is a landmark film, but Mary Poppins it was not.