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Hilary Duff Details How She Explored "Lonely" Feelings With Haylie Duff in New Song
It turns out some of Hilary Duff's insecurities are what her dreams are made of.
Though she’s been happily married to Matthew Koma for nearly seven years, the singer recently admitted that she has a recurring dream of her husband cheating on her and moving on with someone else.
As the 38-year-old put it to Rolling Stone in an interview published on Feb. 19, “I always think Matt’s going to leave me for some coolio indie songwriter that he works with.”
In fact, the fear of her husband being unfaithful was so strong Hilary wrote a song about it on her new album, Luck … or Something. But, according to Matthew—who helped produce the record—“Holiday Party” is simply a song and nothing more.
In response to the confession, the musician, 38, told Rolling Stone Hilary’s recurring dream is “so insane but also very real,” adding, “Those are real things to get hung up on emotionally.”
Indeed, those inner thoughts are what Hilary—who shares daughters Banks, 7, Mae, 4, and Townes, 21 months, with Matthew, as well as son Luca, 13, with ex-husband Mike Comrie—sings about on her album, out Feb. 20.
“That was the approach of the record,” she told Rolling Stone. “What keeps me up at night? What are my insecurities? The themes are what 10 years has brought on. It was super healing to make something that felt exactly like me, and where I am right now.”
“It was really important to me to not make a record that was like, ‘I’m a mom and I pick up my kids at school and pack lunches every day and it’s so hard,’” she continued. “It was not at all what I was interested in talking about. What I was interested in talking about is the shift in how it makes me feel, as a person.”
Amy Sussman/Getty Images for Apple Music
That also includes the strained relationships with her family, including an alleged rift with older sister Haylie Duff and the on-and-off contact with her dad Bob Duff.
“There’s times where I talk to my dad and times where I don’t talk to my dad,” she shared. “I do have a pretty sunny disposition, but a lot of s--t has gone down, and that’s life.”
And when it comes to her song “We Don’t Talk”—in which the Lizzie McGuire alum seemingly sings about the rift she has with Haylie, 41, despite the fact that they “come from the same home, same blood”—Hilary said she felt a responsibility to be honest with her fans.
Rich Polk/Getty Images for Words with Friends 2
“I feel almost like when I got divorced [in 2015], where I dealt with it privately, and then the news comes out and you’re like, ‘OK, great. I’m going to deal with this all over again,’” she explained. “I was prepared, a little bit. I made a choice to put that song on my record. That’s definitely the most lonely part of my life, and I struggled with, ‘Am I going to share this?’”
“People have known my life since I was a child, and so they know all the characters in it and they know what I’m talking about,” she added. “For me, it was important to be open about that theme. It genuinely came from the heart.”
For more on Hilary's love story with Matthew, keep reading.
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Red Carpet Official
Back in January 2017, the pair confirmed their budding romance by posing on the red carpet together at Entertainment Weekly's pre-SAG Awards party at Chateau Marmont.
A Brief Breakup
Shortly after their red carpet debut, a source confirmed to E! News the two had split in March 2017. According to the source, the breakup was triggered by their busy schedules.
Rekindling the Romance
By October 2017, they had rekindled their romance, evidenced by his appearance at her 30th birthday party. "Since Matt got back from tour, they've been seeing each other again," a source told E! News exclusively at the time. "Him being gone on tour was the main reason things didn't work out the first time around, so now that he's back, they picked up right where they left off." As she later revealed on The Talk in December 2017, it was actually the third time they were dating. "Timing is such a big deal… third time's a charm!" she told the co-hosts.
Baby on Board
In June 2018, the couple has sweet news to share: they had a baby girl on the way. "We made a baby girl!" Koma wrote on social media. "She will be as beautiful and sweet as her mother...@hilaryduff another incredible chapter begins."
Mom & Dad
By the fall, they officially added a new member to the family: daughter Banks Violet Bair. "This little bit has fully stolen our hearts! She joined our world at home on Thursday afternoon and is absolute magic," the actress shared online in October 2018.
Instagram / Hilary Duff
Yes!
Nearly two years after stepping out publicly for the first time, Koma asked the actress to marry him.
Just Married!
Duff and Koma said "I do" in Dec. 2019, surrounded by their loved ones!
12 Months Later
When celebrating his one year wedding anniversary to Hilary, Matthew wrote a thoughtful post on Instagram expressing his gratitude for all that she's done during the pandemic. "I'm so in awe of your badassery," he gushed in part.
Growing Family
Hilary and Matthew went on to welcome daughter Mae James Bair in March 2021.
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