2 weeks ago
22
Jennifer Garner Shares Why Co-Parenting With Ben Affleck Includes "a Little Bit of Loss"
Jennifer Garner’s kids didn't want to see Jenna Rink be 30, flirty and thriving.
As the 13 Going on 30 star recently admitted, her beloved 2004 film quite literally created a headache for Violet, 20, Seraphina, 17, and Samuel, 13—who she shares with ex-husband Ben Affleck—when they became teenagers.
“They went through some tortured years where they were turning 13,” Jennifer told Kylie Kelce on the Feb. 26 episode of her podcast Not Gonna Lie. “[13 Going on 30] was showing up at birthday parties a lot, or sleepovers, and the parents thought, ‘Oh, this will be a fun thing.’”
Though the parents had good intentions, Jennifer said her kids couldn’t have been less thrilled with the movie choice—and even made up some excuses to get out of the sleepovers.
“My kids were, first of all, mortified," the 53-year-old, who starred alongside Mark Ruffalo in the film, shared. "And second of all, so upset to see me sad, so upset to see me being in love… and, also, it's just so cringe.”
“I got a couple of calls from sleepovers, like, ‘I think I have a headache,’” she added of her kids' reaction. “I’m like, ‘A headache? You’ve never had a headache, but you need me to get you? OK.’”
Even though her and Ben’s kids are getting older and may not enjoy watching her films, Jennifer said she’s embracing this chapter of parenting teenagers.
“The cool thing is teenagers are amazing,” the Last Thing He Told Me star—who was married to Ben from 2005 until 2018—said on the podcast. “They're funny. They have all these interests you never could have predicted. They're thoughtful.”
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And given the fact she’s been through two decades of parenting, Jennifer also had some helpful advice to offer Kylie, 33, when it comes to raising her four children.
“Everybody has their moments. We have our moments, but you grow up with them,” the Alias alum told Kylie, who shares daughters Wyatt, 6, Elliotte, 4, Bennett, 3, and Finnley, 11 months, with husband Jason Kelce. “It's not like somebody's gonna hand you a 14-year-old and say, ‘Here, deal with this.’ You will have been through every age.”
“You will have had little foreshadowing of what this is gonna be like. You will have practiced,” Jennifer continued. “Every day as a mom is a new day to say, ‘OK. That didn't work. Let me try again.’ Every day is a fresh start. Every day is an opportunity.”
“And if you can just keep giving yourself that grace,” she added, “you get there, and you're suddenly just like, ‘Oh, this is fun.’”
This isn’t the first time that Jennifer has spoken publicly about the highs and lows of parenting. Keep reading for more quotes from the actress about raising kids.
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United Front
When it comes to co-parenting, Jennifer Garner will always maintain a cordial relationship with her ex-husband Ben Affleck for the sake of their children: Violet, Seraphina and Samuel.
“It’s not Ben’s job to make me happy," Garner shared in a 2016 Vanity Fair interview. "The main thing is these kids―and we’re completely in line with what we hope for them."
She continued, "Sure, I lost the dream of dancing with my husband at my daughter’s wedding. But you should see their faces when he walks through the door. And if you see your kids love someone so purely and wholly, then you’re going to be friends with that person.”
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Humble Beginnings
Though she and Affleck are both successful actors, Garner doesn't want their kids to live inside a Hollywood bubble.
"It's really important for my kids to see that everyone doesn’t have the lives they see in Los Angeles," she told Southern Living. "That doesn’t reflect the rest of the world. I want them to grow up with the Southern values I had―to look at people when they say hello and to stop and smell the roses."
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Model Behavior
And that's why her parenting style is very hands-on.
“I think teaching your kids anything is a lifelong job and certainly values are something―you can’t just say, ‘Here, have values!’" she previously told E! News. "You have to show them that you have values."
Explaining how setting a good example is the "most important job," the Alias alum added that she and Affleck—who she split with in 2015 after 10 years of marriage—hope that their kids "see and appreciate the work we do."
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Go With the Flow
Of course, there is no one standard way of parenting.
“As much as you think that, ’OK, I’m going to follow what this person says,'" Garner noted during a 2016 appearance on Late Night With Seth Meyers, "it’s not up to you, dude."
Advising parents to "let it go" when it comes to their worries, the 13 Going on 30 star continued, "You’re going to struggle. It’s going to suck—just like for everyone else."
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Parenting With Purpose
For Garner, the key to maintaining a good structure for her kids is setting up boundaries and rules.
"You just have to do it," she explained to Us Weekly. "It’s not pretty. I don’t think that I’m always the best at it, but I try my best to be consistent and for them to know what they can expect from me."
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No Worries
And when she does experience a roadblock in her parenting journey, Garner believes "every day is a fresh start."
"You always can say, ‘Today, we’re going to try this!'" she told People. "And if it goes horribly, you can say, ‘Today, we’re throwing that out, and we’re trying this!’"
The actress added, "That’s part of what I like about being a mom in general."
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Mom Life
Garner's motherhood joy extends into the cinematic universe as well.
"I’m really glad that I’m playing moms," she told Today, "because there’s no more rich time in women’s lives than when you have your babies."
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