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What James Van Der Beek Said About His Health, Cancer Battle Before His Death at 48
James Van Der Beek was never afraid to address his own mortality.
In fact, the Dawson's Creek alum was open about how his battle with stage 3 colorectal cancer helped him gain a new perspective on life before his Feb. 11 death.
"This year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye," he shared in an Instagram video posted on his 48th birthday in March 2025. "I had to come nose to nose with death."
And while James—dad to kids Olivia, 15, Joshua, 13, Annabel, 12, Emilia, 9, Gwendolyn, 7, and Jeremiah, 4, with wife Kimberly Van Der Beek—previously used labels such as actor, husband and father to "define" him, he said his cancer diagnosis "stripped" him of such definitions.
"I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband that was helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them," he explained. "And so, I was faced with the question: 'If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy alone in an apartment with cancer, what am I?'''
The Varsity Blues star continued, "I meditated and the answer came through: 'I am worthy of God's love simply because I exist.'"
But it took him some time to feel that peace, with James explaining that he “went into shock” when he was first diagnosed in 2023.
“I really don't think I knew what to do. Neither did my wife. And we drove home in silence,” he told Today in December. "And part of me wanted to panic. Part of me wanted to just freak out. But then another part of my brain was like, ‘You don't know enough yet.’”
That's why James opted to focus on the positives throughout his cancer journey. In fact, he changed his mindset after his diagnosis to tell himself: "'This is going to be the best thing that ever happened to me.'"
MJ Photos/Shutterstock
"I had this little voice in my head that said, 'You're going to make changes in your life that you would never, ever make if you didn't have this extreme of a diagnosis,'" he told Today. "Really, the biggest change would be this journey of self-love. What I realized was, I'm still worthy of love."
James added, "Presence is really the gift that cancer has given me."
"Before cancer, I took all these little beautiful moments as part of a collection," he shared. "Now, I'm able much more to just settle into that exact moment."
For a look back at James' life in pictures, read on.
New Line Cinema/Courtesy Everett Collection
1995
Angus
Lisa Rose/ZUMA Wire
1997
Frank Ockenfels/Warner Bros Tv/Kobal
1998
Dawson's Creek
Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images
1998
Margaret Norton/NBCU Photo Bank
1998
Marc Kayne/Warner Bros Tv/Kobal/Shutterstock
1998
E J Camp/Paramount/Kobal/Shutterstock
1999
Varsity Blues
Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images
1999
Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic, Inc
2000
Ron Galella, Ltd./Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images
2001
Jean-Paul Aussenard/WireImage
2002
Jim Spellman/WireImage
2002
Bruce Glikas/FilmMagic
2003
J.Sciulli/WireImage
2004
Cliff Lipson/CBS via Getty Images
2005
Jim Smeal/BEI/Shutterstock
2006
Noel Vasquez/Getty Images
2008
Picture Perfect/Shutterstock
2009
Peter Kramer/NBC NewsWire/NBCU Photo Bank
2010
Matt Baron/BEI/Shutterstock
2011
20th Century Fox Television/Kobal/Shutterstock
2012
Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23
Matt Baron/BEI/Shutterstock
2013
Lloyd Bishop/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank
2014
Michael Yarish/CBS via Getty Images
2015
CSI: Cyber
Todd Williamson/Getty Images for Amazon Studios
2016
Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank
2017
2018
Todd Williamson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank
2019
Eric McCandless/ABC via Getty Images
2019
Dancing With the Stars
2020
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