The Golden Life First Teaser Brings Drama, Chaos & Clashes to Florida

Bravo's ill-fated attempt at highlighting our nation's capital brought together four women so forgettable you'd be forgiven for erasing them from your memory—though their names are Mary Amons, Lynda Erkiletian, Cat Ommanney and Stacie Scott Turner—and one so desperate for fame that she gate-crashed a party at the White House. More on her later.

Who?

Vaguely familiar, but...

Once upon a time, DeShawn starred on the same TV show as NeNe Leakes. Surprising, we know.

This one-season Housewife brought nothing to the Orange County table.

Her defining trait was "cougar."

The Orange County doctor was never a source of drama during season 16 and her brief marriage troubles with eternally shirtless husband Ryne (or Ryan?) were less than riveting. However, we will never forget Dr. Jen getting absolutely wasted on wine during the Dubrows' insanely awkward—yet wildly entertaining—dinner party.

The nurse anesthetist's flop first season can be summed up in one cringe-worthy word we hope we never hear again: Esophagus-gate. 

Katie loved to talk about her charity work, but...didn't do much else on screen. She was one and done, only to come back and not contribute much as a friend. Leaving the cast trip early? A Housewives no-no.

Her marriage problems were on full display the two seasons she was a full-time Housewife...that and her champagne room are the two memorable things about Charrisse.

A one-and-done Housewife, Shamari was at least fun?

While it was nice to see some diversity in the lily-white O.C., Peggy ultimately proved to be a frustrating presence in season 12. The fights she chose to pick were bizarre, and often involving someone using a word she simply didn't understand, and her decision to simply hide out in her room for an entire day during the trip to Iceland proved that she wasn't really cut out for this Real Housewives life.

Instead of bonding with fellow Nigerian costar Wendy Osefo during season eight, Nneka's first season storyline centered entirely around her allegedly accusing Wendy's mom of being a witch (yes, seriously). We wish we could have seen the two bond over their shared culture rather than fighting with no resolve.

Noella spun through season 16 like a tornado of frantic energy. While her personal struggles were somewhat compelling (her husband James up and left the country and asked for a divorce right before filming started), it was her constant drama with queen bee Heather Dubrow that helped her not land completely at the bottom of the list. Maybe with more time and another season, we'll warm up to Mrs. Bergener.

From peacekeeper in her first season to unrelenting complaints about a thrown cake and unfounded claims of anti-Semitism in her second (and last) season, we're not sure we've ever seen a quicker Real Housewives fall from grace than this one.

Everything Amber and her husband Jim did seemed to reek of desperation. Plus, he was involved in more of the drama than she was. Not a good look.

All we remember about Karent is that she was a dentist and none of her co-stars seemed to like her at all. Next!

This was a real person with a show on Bravo. We promise.

As one of RHONY's more recent one-and-dones, Jules' tenure was too brief to rank any higher. However, she sure did deliver her fair share of drama. 

So unnecessary they couldn't even get individual taglines.

Much like co-star Sara Al Madani, Nina exemplified a multidimensional, successful Arab woman who is blending modern life with centuries-old cultural traditions. She avoided most of the season one drama and was sometimes overshadowed by her co-stars' bigger, louder personalities.

Taleen was a nice addition to RHODubai's sophomore season, but we only have one season to judge her on.

The America's Next Top Model veteran picked up a peach for seasons 11 and 12, but never really made an impression in the world of RHOA, aside from being pregnant for what felt like her entire tenure. Points for that epic read of Marlo Hampton while in Tokyo, though.

Per usual, we typically need to see more than one season to place a first-time Housewife higher on our list. But Katie came in swinging during RHOC's 18th season, immediately going up against veteran Housewife Heather Dubrow. It takes a brave woman to call B.S. on Ms. Fancypants.

Sara's positive, enlightened outlook on life was certainly pleasant, but didn't provide for much drama (besides that one time she offered co-star Caroline Brooks some not-so-well received parenting advice). However, the tech entrepreneur shattered stereotypes of what it means to be a modern Muslim woman in the Middle East and for that we applaud her. 

RHONJ's season 13 newbies certainly fit the mold of your typical Garden State Housewife and quickly found themselves in a season-long fight over literally nothing that Andy Cohen deemed pointless at the reunion. The former friends unfortunately didn't bring much more substance during season 14.