The Art of Becoming "Socially Wealthy"

Learning how to be "socially wealthy" is absolutely the flex you think it is. Because while traditional wealth measures the amount in your bank account, social wealth measures the quality of your relationships . . . and we'll let you decide which currency holds more value.

According to a viral TikTok breaking down the concept, socially wealthy people are essentially elite communicators. (The type of people you actually hope to get stuck making small talk with at a party, for example.) They laugh easily and genuinely, make you feel seen instead of judged, and never treat conversations like a competition. They give specific compliments instead of vague ones, hold eye contact without making it weird, and aren't afraid of the occasional awkward silence.

But socially wealthy people aren't just born this way. Just like financial wealth, social wealth is built — shaped by the kinds of relationships these people intentionally cultivate. And instead of focusing on knowing a little bit about everyone, they focus on knowing people more deeply.

Curious how to become more socially wealthy yourself? Here's where to start.

Experts Featured in This Article

Ashley Smith, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and co-founder of Peak Mind: The Center for Psychological Strength.

Adrienne Alexander is a communication strategist and expert with over 20 years of experience helping professionals build confidence, navigate social dynamics, and communicate effectively.

What Does It Mean to Be Socially Wealthy?

If you look at what it means to be socially wealthy in a broad sense, it has a lot to do with who you surround yourself with. "Being socially wealthy means having a strong, supportive, and accepting social network," licensed psychologist Ashley Smith, PhD, says. "It's about your relationship capital — do you have people you can count on, who you feel connected to, and who you can be authentic with?"

But while being socially wealthy has a lot to do with your inner circle, it also has to do with how you engage in conversations and social settings. "Social wealth is the ability to show up as yourself without performing and to be met with understanding rather than judgment," communication expert Adrienne Alexander says. In other words, it's being the person that someone actually enjoys speaking to.

Though social wealth can look different for everyone, here are some signs someone is socially wealthy, according to our experts:

How to Become Socially Wealthy

According to Dr. Smith, becoming socially wealthy is all about developing stronger relationship skills — and for her, lesson one should be focusing less on how the conversation relates to you and more on the person you're speaking with.

For example, while it's normal to want to relate every conversation back to you (e.g. "this reminds me of a time when I did . . ." or "I just recently did . . .") ask the person you're speaking to a follow-up question instead. "When someone shares a story or something that happened to them, recognize it as a bid for connection. Before returning your own related story, ask a question," she suggests. This makes them feel seen and not like you want to make the conversation all about yourself.

For Alexander, the best way to become socially wealthy is to keep up with your circle. "Social wealth grows through steady deposits of presence, not grand gestures," she says. "Be consistent and check in on people when there isn't a milestone, crisis, or opportunity attached."

In general conversations though, the most important thing you can do is be a good listener. "Put your phone away, give your full attention, and pay attention to what they're saying rather than jumping ahead in your mind to what you're going to say next," Dr. Smith adds.

And for the introverts or people who feel like they're awkward in social settings, the best thing you can do is practice. "You need to practice interacting," Dr. Smith says. "Confidence comes after experience — not before. The only way to feel more comfortable and less anxious is to go practice the uncomfortable thing repeatedly."

Even if that feels daunting, start small. Alexander suggests having a few open-ended conversation starters on-hand that you can lean on when you know you will be in a social setting. She also suggests focusing on having one meaningful conversation rather than circling the entire room. "Introverts often have an advantage because they tend to listen deeply and prefer substantive conversations," she adds. For this reason, focusing on one-on-one connections can be the way in for you.

Introvert or not, though, remember that being socially wealthy is less about being the loudest person in the room and more about being the most present one. The real flex isn't having endless connections, but having relationships that actually feel supportive and genuine. "That kind of wealth often matters more than any number in a bank account," Alexander says.

Taylor Andrews is the senior balance editor at Popsugar, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With eight years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.