Maura Higgins breaks down in tears and admits she 'didn't want to be here' as she suffered with 'dark thoughts' after sudden Love Island fame

Maura Higgins broke down in tears and admitted she 'didn't want to be here' after her sudden Love Island fame. 

The model, 33, who starred on the ITV dating series in 2019, said she suffered with 'dark thoughts' after being 'dropped' in London from her native Ireland. 

In an emotional new interview on Tuesday, Maura recalled the 'very scary' period in her life which saw her thrust into the public eye with no one she could trust. 

Speaking with Paul C Brunson's on his We Need To Talk podcast, she began: 'Life after Love Island was a very hard time in my life.

'I was just dropped to the UK. It was like someone just picked me up, dropped me to the UK and I was in the public eye. I had nowhere to live. I had no friends, no family, nobody I could trust.'

Maura continued: 'I've done everything by myself. I've been independent my whole life. But that was a lot. That was scary. Very, very scary.

'And I remember a lot of times I was faking a smile. Work was so busy. I was getting barely any sleep.

'I was chased by the paps everywhere I went. I had no clothes. I had a suitcase with just Love Island bikinis that were probably crusty. 

'I had nothing, absolutely nothing. I was living out of a hotel in London because that’s where all my work was and it was way overloaded. There was no break.

'It was going from one thing to the next, like, to radio to this photo shoot to you've signed with brands.' 

She admitted: 'I had a breakdown. I had dark thoughts, very dark thoughts. And it got to a stage where I don't even think I told my mam. I tell my mum everything. I didn't tell her how bad it was.

'I didn't want to be here anymore. I thought that was going to be the best thing.

'There was so much expected from me. And because I was there on my own, I was like, "I've just nobody to help".

'Moving country while being thrown into the public eye is terrifying. I felt so mentally exhausted from just putting on the smile. There were so many things I did that I don’t even remember. I was miserable,' Maura revealed. 

The TV personality, who finished in fourth place on the fifth series of the UK show in 2019, is now the social media ambassador for Love Island USA. She has since appeared on Dancing on Ice and hosted segments on This Morning. 

Elsewhere in the chat, she broke her silence on her romance with Pete Wicks after they were spotted sharing a passionate kiss. 

The Love Island icon and Strictly star, 36, who were first linked back in August, confirmed their relationship this week as they packed on the PDA during a date in London.

When Paul asked Maura if she and Pete 'were a thing', Maura told the host: 'We just get on very, very well. I adore him, he's an amazing person.

'Do you know what's so weird? We met very soon after me coming off Love Island and we just instantly clicked.

'Our humour is the same. It's like that sick, dark humour. It's very abusive. We abuse each other. Very nasty, it's hilarious.'

Maura split from American stuntman boyfriend Bobby Holland Hanton earlier this year.

She has also previously dated Strictly Come Dancing professional Giovanni Pernice, as well as her Love Island co-stars Christopher Taylor and Curtis Pritchard.

Speaking about her previous relationships, Maura said: 'I've not had a great track record in relationships. I just feel like apart from my best friend, every guy has just let me down.

'I expect to be let down and you can never be in a healthy relationship if I'm expecting that.'

Maura and Pete, who were first romantically linked in August and have since kept a low profile, shared a tender moment in the corner at the Pride Of Britain after-party on Monday evening. 

Maura - a former Love Island finalist - was seen planting a kiss on Pete's nose before the pair were spotted canoodling at London's Red Bar at the Grosvenor House Hotel.

A day earlier, Pete showed off his impressive Strictly moves as he danced with Maura in a recent TikTok video.

The couple were previously seen together enjoying a night out at The Ship in Wandsworth alongside his Strictly friends.

An onlooker exclusively told MailOnline that the pair were inseparable, whispering in each other's ears and even interlocking legs as they enjoyed a drink alongside Wynne Evans, Tom Dean and Jamie Borthwick.

'They were all over each other, I was surprised to see them looking so close because I thought he had real chemistry with Jowita.

'At one point they were basically straddling each other and didn't seem to care at all that people could see them.

'You'd think Pete would be more concerned about Tom given he'd just been given the boot on Strictly but he only had eyes for Maura all night!'