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Marvel Rivals players suspect Captain America's summer sausage has already been downsized - WorldNL Magazine

Marvel Rivals players suspect Captain America's summer sausage has already been downsized

2 hours ago 11

Captain America in Marvel Rivals, with his huge hog cropped out

Last week, Marvel Rivals made the headlines for a familiar reason: one of its new skins is on the bleeding edge of horny superhero costume design. But in a refreshing change of pace, it was the boys' turn this time around—Captain America got a summer swimsuit skin with proportions so absurd they'd make a Gears of War character blush and an egregiously huge bulge for his… Washington Monument.

It jiggles around, it's visible from the back, it's the sort of treatment Steve Rogers rarely gets in a big-budget superhero videogame (even if the comics do this song and dance every summer). Granted, Marvel Rivals already had risqué skins for its male characters here and there, I think the giant dong just caught everyone off guard. Anyway, people think it's been nerfed.

Or perhaps a more appropriate term would be 'reined in.' You see, a comparison post from user Used-Earth8767 went up on the Marvel Rivals subreddit titled, "Captain America's bulge has been nerfed. It no longer goes through the chair." You can see before and after shots of Steve's little Avengers Tower, and indeed, it seems to have shrunk a bit. "As a proud straight man, I can say that WE, yes, ALL us straight men, want Captain America's bulge back and his ass in our face," OP elaborated in the thread.

If that's true, the fourth of July is a hilarious day to make such a change. But it may not be true. Down the thread, a reply from user L9-45 said, "I extracted and pulled the model. There are no changes directly to the model or rigging from what I can see. It's possible they fixed the bulge to parent it to his pelvis which would fix the stretch down (and inward) in the first pic." In other words, some of that janky jiggling players noticed may be the unintentional result of an animation oversight.

As a journalist, it is my duty to find, nay, fight for the truth. But whether NetEase nerfed the hog or not, there's no way for me to know Captain America's canon hog size, so I couldn't say whether any nerfs would be warranted. Until Marvel editorial speaks on the matter, I'll have to defer to what I see in-game.

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Justin first became enamored with PC gaming when World of Warcraft and Neverwinter Nights 2 rewired his brain as a wide-eyed kid. As time has passed, he's amassed a hefty backlog of retro shooters, CRPGs, and janky '90s esoterica. Whether he's extolling the virtues of Shenmue or troubleshooting some fiddly old MMO, it's hard to get his mind off games with more ambition than scruples. When he's not at his keyboard, he's probably birdwatching or daydreaming about a glorious comeback for real-time with pause combat. Any day now...

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