Lorna Luxe, 43, confesses she didn't have a bank card and 'never paid a bill' before husband John's death as she opens up on 'incredibly low moments' in first interview since his passing

Lorna Luxe has confessed she didn't even have a bank card before the tragic death of her husband John Andrews back in February. 

The influencer, 43, was married to John for 16 years before he passed away aged 64 following his 2023 diagnosis and subsequent gruelling battle with stage four adrenal cancer.

And while Lorna has been open with her 1.8million followers about her experiences of grief, she has now revealed how he sorted everything and she didn't even have a bank card and had 'never paid a bill' before he died. 

In her first interview since his passing, Lorna appeared on Davina McCall's Begin Again podcast as she explained that John was really worried about her and feared leaving her without the practical knowledge to cope alone.

'Well, like and this sounds crazy, right? Because I was married for 16 years with John... Met him when I was 25. I lived independently when I met him, but he quickly recognised that paying bills and doing practical stuff didn't really interest me,' explained Lorna. 

'I found that quite boring. And he was very happy to do it for me. And so over those years, he just bit by bit managed all of these things to the point where all I had to do was get up and be me and just go about my day. And it was all just sorted out. 

'So when it'Fs come to, I'd say around the end of last year, where we both went "sh*t, we might not make this, we thought we had this time, we've not got this time."

'He really started to panic because he was like, "well you don't even know how to pay. You don't even have your own bank card. You don't know how to do these things." And he was really worried. 

'And actually the days leading up to his death, the last few conversations we had were about this fear that I was really going to be in the sh*t when he died, because I didn't know how to do anything.'

Reflecting on the reality of sorting practical things after John's death she continued: 'It was quite scary. My house is like falling around, there's lots of bills coming in. There's lots of bills related to John as well. That was quite a scary period.

'I didn't really understand, didn't have a bank card. I think day two of John dying I had to order a bank card because I didn't have one. 

'Day three, I tried to pay a bill using his app and it wouldn't go through. And I rang the bank and the man went, "Can I just ask, why are you trying to log into John Andrews's app?" And I was like, "well, I don't have one." And he was like, "well, you need to get your own because you can't do that."

'I just had to make a lot of phone calls and listen, I'm still sorting things out. And there was a lot, that first week I was like "flipping heck, John. What the hell have you left me with here? It's a car crash." 

'But bit by bit, bite-sized chunks each day, I'll open a letter and we'll deal with it. And it's still the same today. 

'And sometimes I get a few letters through the post and I sit there staring at them and then at some point I sit down, right, come on, and they're not as scary as you think they're going to be.'

Lorna also confessed she still has 'incredibly low moments' as she discussed how she finds the weekends the loneliest to deal with. 

'I have moments, usually five or ten minutes, where I feel incredibly low, but then I'm like "Right, got to get back on the next thing now" or something snaps me out of it and I just distract myself.

'The loneliness kicks in for me, in certain times in the week as well, I've noticed there's a rhythm to it. My loneliness kicks in around Saturday afternoon, because midweek Monday to Friday I'm a bit nonstop and I've got people that work for me as well, run a business right? So I'm on, I'm doing stuff with work. 

'No one's texting me about work on a Saturday or Sunday, so by Saturday afternoon, if I've not made plans, which I've started to do, I can feel and I'm like, "what am I going to do? I need to make my tea, but I'm not a good cook."

'So that's a quick job because it'll be a microwave dinner. And it's all these little things that he did. He filled the space without me realizing.'

'Now, of course, I'm in this house and there's literally no one. There's no one to play with. And that's something I'm getting used to.'

Lorna and John met when she was 25 and in the midst of her eight-year stint as a Virgin Atlantic air hostess, before marrying in NYC shortly after and going on to live together in Hove, East Sussex, and later Horsham and Warwickshire.

While John previously worked as a banker, following his cancer diagnosis in 2023 and Lorna's continued success as an influencer, he gave up his job to focus on his health and helping his wife work.

Lorna has always been candid about their 21-year age gap's perks and pitfalls, but previously admitted she thought she had years left with him.

Writing in The Telegraph last month, Lorna penned: 'I wasn’t destined to become a young widow just because John was 21 years older than me. Life simply doesn’t work like that...

'Both of John’s parents lived well into old age, reaching their 80s and 90s, so I genuinely believed that we’d have decades together. But if he had been younger, he wouldn’t have been John, so I wouldn’t change a thing.'

In the piece, she continued: 'I honestly thought we had years left together – he was 64, too young to die really. Instead, aged 43, I’m navigating life as a widow. I can’t get used to that word – or the fact that he’s gone.'