Kelsey Parker pays tribute to baby son Phoenix a year after he died as she says she's struggling to come to terms with how she was 'made to feel like she had done something wrong'

Kelsey Parker paid tribute to her baby son Phoenix on Friday a year after he died – as she said she's struggling to come to terms with how she was 'made to feel like she had done something wrong'.

The 36-year-old and her boyfriend Will Lindsay lost their son, Phoenix, who was stillborn at 39 weeks last October. They have since welcomed a daughter River who is now a month old.

Phoenix's death came almost four years after her husband, The Wanted's Tom Parker, died from a brain tumour at the age of 33. 

She found love with Will in late 2024, two years after Tom passed. She shares two children Aurelia, six, and Bodhi, four, with Tom.

Now in a new Instagram post, Kelsey has marked a year since her son's death, penning: 'A year ago, I gave birth to my son Phoenix at home. When he entered this world, he had already left it.

'I will carry that for the rest of my life. But there's another part of that day I still can't come to terms with. What happened afterwards.

'I had just given birth. I had just lost my baby. And on the worst day of my life, I was made to feel like I'd done something wrong. Like I needed to explain myself. I think about those hours all the time.

'What breaks my heart even more is knowing that somewhere, right now, another mum is going through exactly the same thing. That is why I will never stop talking about Phoenix. Losing a baby is devastating enough. No parent should then have to fight to be treated with dignity, kindness and compassion.

'To every professional who meets a family in those first hours: your words and your actions stay with us forever. Please choose them with care. This Baby Loss Awareness Week, I'm using my voice for the families who haven't yet found theirs.

'If you've lost a baby, your baby matters. If you feel comfortable, share their name in the comments. I promise I'll read every single one. And if you know someone who needs to hear this today, please share it. Phoenix, I will spend the rest of my life making sure your little life makes a difference.'

Kelsey recently appeared on Good Morning Britain where she reflected on a 'horrific' five years to host Susanna Reid.

She said: 'It's been a real tough four, five years now for us. It's been horrific, losing Phoenix last year and everything we went through, to now have River, who is our little hope. I think she's given so many people out there hope.'

On how she coped during her pregnancy with River, she added: 'It's so tough. From that experience, I have really bad PTSD. But, I knew that everything was going to be ok and that we couldn't possibly go through that again. It was really, really tough.

'Obviously, the whole pregnancy with River was really tough. But everyone who follows me has shared so much love that I think they've got me through.'

She also told Susanna and her co-host Ed Balls how her two other children are 'over the moon' with their new baby sister.

Kelsey said: 'They've gone through so much as children. They lost their dad, they've lost their brother, even going in and out of the NHS and getting checked with River, they were on panic stations all the time like, 'Mum, are you going to come back with the baby?' So, she really has been the hope.'

Kelsey shared the news of River's birth on her Instagram last week. She wrote: 'Welcome to the world, River. Our little bit of hope.'

Kelsey has been candid about finding love following her husband's passing after she first started dating tree surgeon Will in September 2024.

She revealed at the time that Tom's parents 'fully supported' her, saying: 'I've got such an amazing village and even with Tom's parents Noreen and Nigel, they have supported me with whatever I've decided to do and they understand how hard it is.'

Kelsey announced her pregnancy in May, saying that Tom and Phoenix had sent her a 'rainbow baby' – a term used for a healthy baby born after a family has experienced a previous pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or infant death. 

Despite her new love, she previously explained that Tom very much lives on in their home, saying: 'For us at home, Tom is so alive in our house and we speak to him every day...

'For my children, they are still babies and they are still processing it every day so these conversations are never going to go away and we are still dealing with the conversation.'

Kelsey spoke of how meeting Will helped her recover from her loneliness, saying: 'It's about finding happiness and with friends and family there is only so much they can do and it's lovely to have someone to offload to...

'I was lonely and I'm 34 now, I was so lonely and just wanted someone and now I've met someone.'

On grieving, she said: 'What I've learnt is there is no wrong or right way to grieve and we all talk about when is it the right time to move on and I just don't think there is a right time...

'I never thought at the age of 32 with two young children that I would have been widowed.'

She has also previously spoken about how her children helped her with Phoenix's death, saying: 'My kids are my everything, they have got me through the darkest of times...

'I can't believe I'm back here three and a half years later dealing with such a loss and a devastation, but me and Will have the kids and they have to have normality, they have to go to school... 

'I did do the school run and for me, I think you have to rip the plaster off at some point, and if I'd left it until after the summer holidays and I came back and saw the parents, people don't know what to say...

'We are so awful about talking about grief, loss and death and us as a family, we're not. So, I did get up and do the school run, and I faced everyone.'

Earlier this month, Kelsey was forced to hit back at a cruel troll who told her to 'move on and stop thinking' about The Wanted star.

Kelsey has continued to talk about her late husband and on what would have been his 38th birthday, she shared an emotional message on Instagram about her missing Tom.

Her heartwarming message about Tom was tarnished after a troll messaged her telling her to 'stop thinking about him'.

Kelsey reshared the user's message that read: 'Yes I am going to sound like a c*** but you need to stop thinking about your ex-husband who has passed away. 

'You have moved on. You are in a new relationship. Think of how this new guy is feeling hearing how much you care about your ex-husband?

'That is such a kick in the teeth to the new guy, forget about that, he is your future and this new baby, stop living in the past.'

In her reply, Kelsey wrote: 'Tom wasn't my ex-husband. He was my husband, and he died. There is a huge difference.

'Loving someone who has died doesn't stop because you're in a new relationship. Grief isn't something you 'move on' from or switch off. You learn to carry it alongside the life you continue to build.

'Will understands that, just as he still loves and remembers his own dad who died when he was 21.

'I would never expect him to stop talking about his dad, and he would never expect me to stop talking about Tom.

'My past, my present and my future can all exist together. They're not mutually exclusive.'