James Bond 007: Blood Stone review (2011)

Special commentary on this classic PC Gamer review provided by:

Archive Spelunker

This was one of my first reviews for PC Gamer. The two main things I remember about it are that I had to borrow a PC from the office to play it because mine sucked too much, and that I spent at least an hour trying to come up with a clever way to incorporate the phrase "squeezing blood from a stone," an effort that was clearly on my mind when I wrote the godawful intro paragraph you're about to read.

Apparently, based on that intro, I didn't like Quantum of Solace. I don't remember not liking Quantum of Solace, but that does seem like something I would do.

I do remember not liking Blood Stone. It was a bland licensed game, not so bad as to be offensive, but obviously no GoldenEye. I think this is the most I've heard or talked about Blood Stone since submitting this review 15 years ago, so I feel pretty confident that I got things right here.

James Bond: Blood Stone review - PC Gamer issue #210 (US, February 2011)

From the archives: The review below appears as originally written, with only minor changes in formatting and newly taken screenshots. By Tyler Wilde

Out of respect for you, the Bond franchise and the English language in general, I had planned to avoid using hackneyed puns in this review. Plan aborted. Blood Stone doesn't deserve bad wordplay immunity, and I refuse to give it a single quantum of solace. Well, maybe that's too harsh—it can have one quantum. Blood Stone isn't entirely un-fun, but it's no more fun than, say, watching Quantum of Solace. (Double zing!)

This licensed shooting-and-driving game was built by Blur developer Bizarre Creations, which is why I expected more going in. Most of the shooting follows a "find cover, shoot wave of dudes, move to new cover, shoot next wave" pattern. When enemies get close, you can drop them by triggering a motion-captured "Takedown" kill, and performing these earns "Focus Aims." Those really aren't worth going into. The best of the fighting is the few stealthy segments, which actually require a smidgen of care.

It doesn't break the game, but the camera is a constant annoyance. It seems to be attached to Bond's back via a limp bungee cord. Walking around is like steering a boat with half a rudder, and it's as awkward as describing something with three different metaphors.

Image credit: Activision, Steam user Sir Keyboard of Virtue

Image credit: Activision, Steam user Bongo

Driving is better, but inconsistent. Some sections feel truly Bond-like—time slowed down as I sped under tumbling big rigs (without pausing to consider how many bystander deaths just happened). Other parts, however, contain multiple hairpin turns that'll end the chase if mishandled. Checkpoints are plentiful, but some took more tries to reach than was good for the enamel on my clenched teeth.

Shaky, not stirring

(Image credit: Activision, Steam user Bongo)

(Image credit: Activision, Steam user darkunknownZ)

(Image credit: Activision, Steam user Bongo)

The action is justified by an original story by Bruce Feirstein, whose words have been uttered in three Bond films and two games. So it's a passable spy yarn about bioterrorists with names like Bernin and Pomerov. It's not bad, but it's not interesting, either. The voices of Daniel Craig (as James Bond), Judi Dench (as M) and singer Joss Stone (as the Bond Girl) advance the story in frequent, soporific cutscenes and phone conversations.

They're dull, but they offer a short, welcome break from the mediocre shooting, which is in turn broken up by hands-off moments meant to ensure that Bond's nick-of-time escapes look properly cinematic. All of that is better than the inane scanning and "hacking" of stuff with Bond's magic smartphone.

Blood Stone's five-hour campaign, like the world, is not enough. It also comes with three generic multiplayer modes, all of which leave out the best part (the driving)—but trust me: you don't care.