5 days ago
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Rachael Gunn has shared how she was plagued by 'dark thoughts' after becoming an international meme following her breaking performance at the Paris Olympics in 2024.
The breakdancer, who performs under the name Raygun, told the Mental As Anyone podcast this week that she was bedridden with depression after video of the six-minute routine went viral.
'I don't think I left the house by myself for the first six weeks,' the 39-year-old said.
Gunn explained that she had 'panic attacks' if her husband, Sam Free, went to the supermarket without her or arrived home half an hour later than usual.
'I had certainly some very dark thoughts about maybe just ending it all because I wouldn't have to deal with all this stuff. It was awful,' she said.
Gunn insisted that she doesn't 'take herself too seriously' and is 'not obsessed with herself' so she didn't seek out the cruel jokes and memes, but nonetheless was impacted by the online discussions around her disastrous performance.
Rachael Gunn (pictured) has shared how she was plagued by 'dark thoughts' after becoming an international meme following her breaking performance at the Paris Olympics in 2024
'I would wake up and think it was all a dream and what an egotistical ridiculous dream you just had,' she said.
'And then I'd realise that it was actually happening and it was a living nightmare.'
The Olympian was transformed from a relative unknown into an international punchline after her three Olympic battles went viral.
She and her husband Samuel Free were subsequently targeted by conspiracy theories and accusations that they had somehow cheated their way into the Games - claims that were particularly damaging given Free was also her coach.
Gunn is the subject of the recently-released Netflix documentary, Untold Raygun: Breaking Badly.
In the flick, Gunn revealed the truth behind her shocking breakdancing performance at the 2024 Paris Olympics, admitting she 'couldn't even break' before she took to the stage.
Gunn, who quit her job in academia after the brutal fallout of her infamous six-minute dance, also agreed that the performance was 'cringe'.
The breakdancer, who performs under the name Raygun, told the Mental As Anyone podcast that she was bedridden with depression after video of the six-minute routine went viral
'I would wake up and think it was all a dream and what an egotistical ridiculous dream you just had,' she said. 'And then I'd realise that it was actually happening and it was a living nightmare'
It is revealed she had no formal Olympic training as her head coach, Lowe Napalan, was too tied up with administrative work to oversee her preparations.
Gunn was primarily trained by her husband, also a breakdancer, going by the nickname Sammy the Free after previously using the moniker Sammy Sex.
The film delves into Gunn's infamous Olympic performance, the viral memes and relentless online mockery the academic endured.
After Gunn's Olympic performance drew heavy backlash, online critics dug up footage of Free's own dancing style and shared mixed opinions on his technique and skill level.
Gunn admitted in the documentary that in the lead up to Paris, she quickly realised that she did not have the skill to compete against world champions, but said she didn't want to quit and 'regret' not going through with it.
'I don't like to have regrets and I think that I knew deep down if I walked away, I would have regretted it more and that would have haunted me, rather than going through whatever happened,' she said.
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