Why Billie Lourd Is "Griefful" on Anniversary of Carrie Fisher Death

Billie Lourd CALLS OUT Carrie Fisher's Siblings

The holidays are always a bittersweet time for Billie Lourd.

Nearly a decade after her mother Carrie Fisher passed away at 60, the Scream Queens star—who shares son Kingston, 4, and daughter Jackson, 2, with husband Austen Rydell—reflected on how she and her family cope each year as the anniversary of the Star Wars legend's death approaches.

"It has been 8 years since my mom died," Lourd wrote on Instagram Dec. 27. "As my son would say 'that’s a lot!' I always dread this day. I spend so much time leading up to it thinking about how awful I’m going to feel. And my dread is usually right. I woke up this morning with a dark cloud over me. But when my kids woke up the dark cloud dissipated and made way for bright glowing sunshine."

However, while the 32-year-old noted that her mom's "death anniversary is like an emotional tropical storm," Lourd added, "It pours rain a lot of the day, but between the storms the light is more beautiful than on any day without storm clouds. There are no rainbows without rain."

Plus, Lourd said she now takes nothing for granted.

"My grief has given me a deeper appreciation for all the little moments of life," she concluded. "So today I am griefful (griefy but grateful). I watch the magic that is my son and daughter and I know she is a piece of that magic. And I feel all the things. The grief. The joy. The longing. The magic. The emptiness. The fullness. And it all coexists in a profound way. Sending my love to everyone out there who needs it."

Keep reading to look back at Billie and Carrie's sweetest mother-daughter moments.