2 weeks ago
26
As a columnist with strong opinions, I get called many things. Some are kind. Most are not.
But isn't it my job to ruffle a few feathers?
Case in point: my recent column on how peptides might not be the elixir of life that embalmed-looking influencers make them out to be. 'Celebrity' personal trainer Jono Castano - the king of triggered gym bros - hopped on his usual high horse, trying to say how wrong I was.
Still, I make no apologies or retractions.
But whatever you feel about me, one thing you can never, ever call me is a hypocrite.
That's why I'm starting this column with a confession: at 50, I've graduated from a garden-variety MILF into a fully paid-up cougar - and, frankly, I'm delighted.
Double Bay brow queen Kristin Fisher (left) is the latest entrant to the eastern suburbs cougar club. Am I happy for her? Yes. Do I think she might be going about this the wrong way? Also yes
'Nude artist' Dina Broadhurst, 50, has been showing off her toyboy Danny Tchalaby for months
MCoBeauty entrepreneur Shelley Sullivan also has a younger boyfriend, Justin Green. Though, curiously, she had her friend Hugh Sheridan handle their hard-launch on his Instagram profile
You see, I love younger men. I make no secret about it. Hand on heart, all of my boyfriends, lovers, and flirtations are with men ten years younger. Sometimes more.
Maybe it's their back muscles or that so-called 'Golden Retriever' energy. Maybe it's the fact they still have abs and a hairline. Whatever it is, I find them sexy, affectionate and refreshingly open-minded.
And unlike many men my age, life hasn't chewed them up and spat them out yet.
So yes, I'm all for this joyous cultural shift of older women dating younger men. And I don't have time for the pearl-clutchers who declare that age-gap relationships are 'problematic'. A woman my age romancing a man in his early 30s is nothing like the ageing bankrupts chasing girls in Phuket.
But - and there's always a 'but' with me - here's where I draw a line: I keep my private life private. You will never, ever see me do a hard-launch on social media these days, or run my fingers down my new boyfriend's abs for a mirror selfie.
And if I ever make him wear a T-shirt with my ugly mug printed on it, please - and this is a serious request - can you call in a welfare check?
If you haven't realised yet, my inspiration this week is partly Dina Broadhurst, who is in the throes of a love affair with German toyboy Danny Tchalaby, as well as MCoBeauty entrepreneur Shelley Sullivan, who also has a younger squeeze, mindfulness coach Justin Green.
Oh, and it also hasn't escaped me that Double Bay headline magnet Kristin Fisher, has unveiled her latest lover, 28-year-old JP Morgan finance bro Shannon Sykes. (Kristin is 41, by the way, though she could pass for a decade younger.)
It seems these days that it is no longer enough to simply date a younger man. Now, we have to flaunt him like the latest Birkin. And don't even get me started on the T-shirt trend... (Dina's new boyfriend Danny Tchalaby is seen wearing a shirt with her image printed on the front)
Kristin's younger squeeze wore this 'your mom is my cardio' T-shirt - in front of her kids
Ladies, take a bow - you have all excelled and done us proud.
But here's the thing - and these women will hate me pointing it out - but I can't help but feel they are taking it all a bit too far. Dina and Kristin especially.
They're showing off their lovers like they've won the Powerball and, as a Gen X woman who values discretion over display, I find it to be quite embarrassing.
It's not the age gap itself - never that. I'll defend women dating younger men until my last breath.
What mortifies me is the show we get online. The humble brags. The way these young hunks are paraded like muscled trophies.
I get the sense that Shelley is trying to avoid creating this impression, but she's now done something even more puzzling: outsourcing the uploading of photos to her celebrity friends. I nearly gasped when I was flicking through my Instagram Stories recently and saw Shelley and Justin canoodling - and realised it had been posted by her pal Hugh Sheridan, who wrote the nauseating caption: 'Nothing better than love.'
Oh, please, Shelley. It's great that you're thriving after divorce, but if you're going to lean into cougar couture, at least commit to it and don't do it at arm's length.
Anyway, I digress.
It seems these days that it is no longer enough to simply date a younger man. Now, we have to flaunt him like the latest Birkin. And that's where I pause.
The last thing I want is to see brilliant women my age morph into the female equivalent of the ageing blokes we love to mock, desperate to prove they're still young and relevant.
What I'm starting to notice - from Mimi's in Coogee to the Botanical in South Yarra - is that the dating scene has evolved from hushed candlelit dinners for two, to something approaching a competitive social sport.
'We've spent decades poking fun at men who show off their younger trophy wives. Now, as some women dating younger men edge into self-parody, are we about to do the same thing in reverse?' writes Amanda Goff
Kristin posts snaps of her toyboy wearing a T-shirt that says 'Your Mom is My Cardio'... in front of her kids.
Shelley's mates humble-brag on her behalf (because let's be honest, no one takes your loved-up photos unless they're asked to).
And Dina's holiday snaps with Danny are getting so racy that I feel like I should be watching in an incognito window.
Oh, and incidentally, Danny was also seen wearing a printed T-shirt of Dina in a swimsuit next to the word 'Lovers'.
Talk about cringe.
What is it with the T-shirts these poor blokes are being asked to wear? Am I missing out on some new public initiation ceremony that toyboys must endure?
It's starting to look more like a humiliation ritual.
And here's the thing that concerns me: these men seem to be pretty private people. You won't find them bragging on social media - if they even have accounts.
It's hard to find even a trace of Danny online before he met Dina. Shannon has the usual pictures of him surfing, but that's about it. I'd never heard of Justin until his relationship with Shelley thrust him into the spotlight.
These women seem to be ushering these handsome - and private men - onto the public stage, parading them like doe-eyed Ken dolls, and it makes me feel a little uncomfortable, if I'm honest.
What are we going to see when the inevitable break-up happens?
We've spent decades poking fun at men who show off their younger trophy wives. We tease them for buying the sports car and bonking their secretary.
Now, as some women dating younger men edge into self-parody, are we about to do the same thing in reverse?
Don't get me wrong: I'm no fun police. Nothing will stop me from enjoying younger lovers, and a part of me is delighted that the ladies of the east are embracing it.
But a word of warning: don't turn a private romance into public property. Because when it ends, as it so often does, he'll stroll off and you'll be left holding the T-shirt.
English (US) ·