The first Minecraft movie trailer looks expensively naff

Warner Bros have released the first trailer for Vertigo and Legendary's Minecraft movie, the long-awaited or possibly, long-dreaded adaptation of Mojang's industry-straddling block-builder. Quick disclosure: I worked with Mojang and Microsoft on a book about Minecraft's first 15 years, shortly before joining Rock Paper Shotgun. As such, I am now obliged by the eternal laws of journalistic accountability to state that anything Minecraft-related is rubbish. But even if that weren't the case, I would describe this as pretty dismal.

It's partly Hollywood-trailer-itis - they're doing that condescending thing where they slap a bass drop or local equivalent on every punchline - but it's mostly that they've monstered Minecraft's matchless visual direction, with a photorealistic spin on the original block aesthetic which makes me think of those fan mods that insist on forcing ray-tracing and hair physics into a game that is famously low-tech and simple.

I'm sure the film's visual direction represents many hours of skilled labour, and I empathise for the artists who are now reading the Youtube comments, but it all just seems so unnecessary. The original Minecraft didn't make waves because you could see your reflection in every Piglin's eyeball. I'm not sure it'll be "more appealing to a mainstream audience", either - if you've never played Minecraft, I suspect this will seem very disposable, another matinee CGI fest among many, but with a strange emphasis on right angles. Imagine if they'd taken a few cues from the LEGO movies or even the Spider-Verse films, and folded in different aesthetics from all across Minecraft's evolution in the hands of developers and players.

The cast includes Emma Myers from Addams Family spin-off Wednesday, Danielle Brooks from The Colour Purple, Jason Momoa playing Jason Momoa But Comically Non-Macho, and Jack Black playing Steve, Minecraft's OG default character. I don't have any particular strong feelings about how Steve should be portrayed, but I am quite tired of Jack Black being Jack Black. They should have cast him as a Creeper. Anyway, here's some blurb:

Welcome to the world of Minecraft, where creativity doesn't just help you craft, it's essential to one's survival! Four misfits--Garrett "The Garbage Man" Garrison (Momoa), Henry (Hansen), Natalie (Myers) and Dawn (Brooks)--find themselves struggling with ordinary problems when they are suddenly pulled through a mysterious portal into the Overworld: a bizarre, cubic wonderland that thrives on imagination. To get back home, they'll have to master this world (and protect it from evil things like Piglins and Zombies, too) while embarking on a magical quest with an unexpected, expert crafter, Steve (Black). Together, their adventure will challenge all five to be bold and to reconnect with the qualities that make each of them uniquely creative...the very skills they need to thrive back in the real world."

The Minecraft movie was announced in 2014, and has been through several rewrites and changes of project leadership. Like many Hollywood productions, it also saw delays during the pandemic lockdowns. It'll hit cinemas next year. I'm morbidly interested to hear about how they worked out the visual direction, but I don't think I'll be buying a ticket.