It's that perfect blend of corny and scary
Image: Paramount/courtesy Everett CollectionWhen I was a kid, Tim Curry’s Pennywise the Clown scared the Hell out of me. With that cackling, gravelly voice, that bizarre, bulbous head, and the way he would just appear out of nowhere, Pennywise gave me nightmares at an age where I was definitely too young to watch. But when I revisited the movie decades later, I realized that, while Curry’s performance was still terrifying, the 1990 ABC TV movie that contained it was kind of terrible. The acting was often hokey and melodramatic while the non-Pennywise scares were all very lame — not boring, just corny.
While I still prefer a good Stephen King horror movie over a bad one — as there are many of both — It contains the formula for the best kind of bad Stephen King movie: corny with solid scares, plus the inclusion of at least one worthwhile performance. This is also the case for another Stephen King movie adaptation that was originally released back in 1989. And as of July 1, the original Pet Sematary is available to stream entirely for free.
Pet Sematary was directed by Mary Lambert with a screenplay written by King himself. It’s about a couple with two young kids and a cat that move to a new home in Maine (of course) near a dangerously busy roadway. One day, the cat is run over by a car and their creepy neighbor Jud Crandall (Fred Gwynne) tells the husband, Louis Creed (Dale Midkiff), that if he buries the cat at an Indian burial site in the woods, the cat will come back to life. Sure enough, it works, even if the cat is a bit different than before. It stinks like a corpse, its eyes glow bright yellow, and it’s prone to violent attacks. That’s right: zombie cat.
Soon after, a much greater tragedy strikes the family when two-year-old Gage Creed (Miko Hughes) is run over by a tractor trailer. While Jud warns Louis that “Sometimes, dead is better,” Louis decides to bury his son in the same Indian burial ground. Gage then comes back to life, but now he has a zombie-like, empty disposition and a desire to kill his own family.
Image: Paramount/courtesy Everett CollectionThe movie has a handful of really effective scares. The cat is genuinely creepy, and even gets a few good jump scares all to itself. Also quite good is Miko Hughes as Gage. Hughes was a popular child actor around that time (he was the “penis and vagina kid” in Kindergarten Cop) — and he delivers his lines with a convincing creepiness. The movie also is fairly well-paced, and the production design is solid considering the fact that it didn’t require much of a budget to recapture the book.
Rest assured, however, that there’s a lot of cheesiness in Pet Sematary. The performances, particularly by the couple, make certain scenes feel like an overacted soap opera. The little girl who plays Gage’s older sister (Blaze Berdahl) is distractingly bad. Maybe that’s a bit harsh to say about a girl who was eight years old at the time, but it’s impossible to overlook, especially when compared to her two-year-old onscreen brother, who is doing a much better job. Any of the film’s scariness is also undercut by the song over the closing credits: “Pet Sematary” by the Ramones. If you haven't heard it, it's a good song, but also quite silly and hardly in keeping with the intended tone of the movie.
Image: Paramount/courtesy Everett CollectionThere is, however, one really spectacular thing about the movie, and that’s Fred Gwynne’s portrayal of Jud Crandall. Best known for playing the dim-witted and delightful Herman Munster on The Munsters, Gwynne’s performance in Pet Sematary is incredibly creepy but also kind of funny. The thick Maine accent Gwynne adopted for the role also made it incredibly distinct. Not only does he perfectly capture the character from the book, but Gwynne is also completely captivating while on screen, so much so that you kind of find yourself waiting for him during the scenes he’s not in.
The character is so distinct that South Park reappropriated it years later almost verbatim. While he’s played by Trey Parker, “Farmer Fred” — who, I presume, is named for Gwynne — is a semi-recurring character on the series, usually used to warn off people from doing certain things, much like Jud warned Louis not to resurrect Gage. The funny part of the character is that it’s not even much of a parody; Parker just plays the character pretty much exactly as Gwynne did, yet it is as funny in South Park as it is creepy in Pet Sematary.
Image: ParamountThere are lots of reasons to check out Pet Sematary. First and foremost, just like the excellent book — which is one of King’s best — there are some genuine, unironic scares in there from the cat, the dead kid, and the overall atmosphere created by director Mary Lambert. You might also be the kind of person who digs the corniness inherent to so many old horror movies. If so, you certainly won’t be disappointed in that department. Or maybe you're just a huge South Park fan and you’re curious about where the character of Farmer Fred came from. Whatever the reason, the timing to watch the movie could never be better as it’s available to stream for free right now on Pluto TV. Whereas, if you had to pay to watch the 1989 adaptation of Pet Semetary, there’s a pretty good chance you might be disappointed.

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