Spencer Matthews shares how he gets emotional when he thinks about how his parents coped with losing his brother and admits it would be 'hard for life to go on if anything happened to his children'

As a ten-year-old Spencer Matthews watched his heart-broken parents mourn his older brother Michael’s death during a trip to Mount Everest.

And now a father himself, the former Made in Chelsea star has told how his sibling Michael’s passing when he was 22 back in 1999 has made him fear losing one of his children.

In a forthcoming episode of My Life at Christmas with Anita Rani on BBC One, Spencer, 36, shared how an emotional moment with his daughter Gigi prompted him to ‘well up’, as he watched fireworks with the four-year-old on his shoulders and thought about how his mum Jane and dad David coped with his brother dying.

The father of three revealed that his wife, Vogue Williams, 39, has said on ‘a number of occasions, if anything were to happen to our kids, it would be difficult for her life to go on.’

If they ever faced such a tragedy, he said, it ‘would just be the worst thing that could ever happen.’

For years he was the Made in Chelsea ‘bad boy’ known for his high-end partying and serial cheating. 

But those days are firmly behind him, as since making history in August by breaking the world record for the most consecutive marathons run on sand, Spencer is now set to spend Christmas preparing for his latest endurance challenge - running for 24 consecutive hours at Battersea Athletics Track.

The challenge, he said, will be a ‘real physical and mental test.’

The former reality star also teased the launch of his new podcast, Untapped, set to debut in early 2025, where he hopes to support those struggling with alcohol.

He said: ‘I'm going to invite anyone who feels like they might be struggling with alcohol to come and chat to me, run a few laps with me.

‘I'd love to be able to help people if I can.’

Speaking candidly to Rani on his personal battle with alcohol, Spencer revealed that when he first met his wife, he wasn’t ‘looking for love’, but simply ‘a nice warm shower and a bed somewhere.’

‘I’d completely lost control, I was drinking really early in the day,’ he admitted.

The ultra-marathon runner said he would find himself ‘walking past the liquor cabinet in the house’, and ‘if no one was around’, he would ‘just have a quick shot of something.’

Spencer stopped drinking in 2018 to save his marriage and now owns a non-alcoholic spirits company, CleanCo.

In the festive programme, he explained that he knew if he didn’t make a change, he ‘would lose her.’

It comes as in April, the former reality star revealed how he slid into alcoholism at the start of his City career when he took part in an initiation that involved downing six cans of Stella.

The star was a broker at the company ICAP for several years before leaving to pursue his role on Made in Chelsea.

Speaking to the Mail's Everything I Know About Me podcast earlier this year about his first day in the City, the entrepreneur said: 'We were forced, well not forced, to have a kind of eat-off and drink-off in this room where the entire office were invited to participate in betting on who would win.’

He also revealed that it was the anger he was harbouring about losing his brother at the age of ten that drove him to start abusing alcohol at a young age.

‘I would get drunk and I would talk about it and blow off steam by getting really angry about it from time to time,’ he admitted.

Experienced mountaineer Michael Matthews, who had previously scaled the Pyrenees, the Swiss Alps and Kilimanjaro before he went on to attempt his fateful Everest trek, died in 1999 on his final quest that saw him become the youngest Brit to conquer Everest.

The challenge, which cost around £22,000 and was organised through a climbing company, saw Michael reach the summit of the world’s highest mountain.

But tragically he became the 162nd person to die on Everest after becoming separated from his group on the route down.

His body was never recovered, leaving the Matthews family with unanswered questions about what truly happened.

David Matthews, the millionaire patriarch of the family, has always believed the negligence of the mountain guides contributed to his son’s death.

He brought a private case against three men working for the firm amid claims the safety briefings were inadequate, but the case was dismissed, with the judge ruling there was no evidence of negligence.

Spencer and his family have since raised hundreds of thousands of pounds for The Michael Matthews Foundation which was established in Michael's memory to support education initiatives in Africa and Asia.

The episode will air this Sunday at 10.30 am on BBC One and BBC iPlayer.