Snow White's Live-Action Seven Dwarfs Are Pure Nightmare Fuel

2 weeks ago 6

A screenshot shows the new dwarfs as seen in Snow White's trailer.

Disney has released the official trailer for Snow White, the studio’s upcoming live-action remake of the animated classic Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. And if you were hoping the dwarfs in the film would be bloated and terrifying CGI human monsters sitting right in the deepest part of the uncanny valley, well, I’ve got good news for you. For everyone else.... oh boy.

Here’s that trailer, in case you haven’t seen it:

The idea of a Snow White remake always made me nervous. Even if you aren’t a massive Disney fan (and I would consider myself to be one), the original Snow White movie, released in 1937, is a genuine piece of cinematic history. So remaking Snow White as a live-action movie felt almost sacrilegious and always seemed like a bad idea. And now, my fears have been confirmed via the first official trailer for the remake.

While I think Rachel Zegler is a fantastic Snow White, nearly everything else about this trailer looks bad or bland. But the worst part of it, by far, are the nightmare fuel dwarfs.

A screenshot from the new Snow White trailer.

The first time the dwarfs pop up in the trailer they are off in the distance. This is the only time in the trailer where I wasn’t terrified of them. It’s downhill from here.

Image for article titled Snow White's Live-Action Seven Dwarfs Are Pure Nightmare Fuel

My thought at this moment was, “Oh no...oh fuck no.”

If you thought (or hoped) that only one of them would look like a horrible and creepy CGI mess, this is the moment where that theory went out the window.

Nope. No matter how many times I see them, I still hate them.

These creepy CGI bastards don’t even look happy to be here. I’m not happy to be here. Why do we all live in the worst timeline?

Yeah, I know you are recreating a shot from the original film. But please, stop showing me these damn CGI nightmares. Please.

That’s too much CGI uncanny face. Please stop. I’ll buy more Lorcana cards. Whatever it takes for Disney to make this all stop.

This is me by the end of the trailer. And after re-watching it three times to see if I could get used to the dwarfs. I can’t. I won’t. Please don’t see this movie in theaters, and maybe this thing will bomb and Disney will finally stop making these ugly and forgettable live-action remakes.

Snow White hits theaters on March 21, 2025. Please stay home and play some games instead or something.

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