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Warning: This story contains content relating to suicidal thoughts.
Mary Cosby continues to struggle with her son Robert Jr.'s substance abuse.
After first confronting the 21-year-old about his drug problems in a hreat-breaking sit-down during The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City's Nov. 27 episode, the pastor finally confided in costar Angie Katsanevas about her personal family problems.
"He just told me blank, 'Mom, I did drugs,'" Mary told her BFF during the Bravo series' Dec. 11 episode. "He was like, 'Yeah, I tried, this, I tried this, I've tried that.'"
She then revealed to Angie the list of narcotics that Robert Jr. had used included heroin, Xanax and acid and recounted him telling her, "And then I started trying other stuff and then I tried other stuff. And then at some point he said it almost became an addiction."
"I said 'not almost,'" Mary continued, "and he's like 'yeah. yeah, it's addiction, mom.'"
But the tragic revelations didn't stop there.
"He says, 'Mom, at one point, I didn't want to live,'" Mary recalled, "'and you were the reason I stayed alive. At one point he was like, 'Mom, I felt like a stain.'"
In a confessional, Mary broke down reflecting on her only child's depression.
"What did I miss?" the 52-year-old questioned. "Was I not paying enough attention at some point that he went that far to the point where he didn't want to live? And where did I not secure him so he knows his worth? And he knows how much he means to me. Just, what happened? I mean, if I don't blame myself whose fault is it?"
And when Mary told Angie she feels responsible for all Robert Jr.'s troubles, Angie did her best to talk her friend out of her grief.
Charles Sykes/Bravo
"You did all the right things, Mary, but that could happen to anyone," she said in an attempt to comfort her. "Mary, you can never put that on yourself because addiction is real. It's a disease."
However, Mary remained heartbroken by the gut-wrenching situation.
"It's hard, it's really hard," she said in a confessional. "To just, as a parent, you feel like you failed. But it's my responsibility if he comes to me and he says he wants help, it's my responsibility to make sure he gets it. And whatever I have to do to do it, I'm gonna do it."
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. on Bravo.
(E! and Bravo are both part of the NBCUniversal family)
If you or someone you know needs help, call 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call the network, previously known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, at 800-273-8255, text HOME to 741741 or visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for additional resources.
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