Quit Roasting ‘90 Day Fiance Stars’ — Yes, They’re Flawed, but Aren’t We All?

One thing all 90 Day Fiancé fans love to do is hate the franchise stars, but I think sometimes cast members are held to an unrealistic standard. Over the years, I've seen a variety of stars appear in the 90 Day Fiancé franchise. Some cast members were more laid back. Take Jasmin Lahtinen and Blake Abelard from 90 Day Fiancé Season 7, for instance. The couple did have a few issues and Blake wasn't sure his high-maintenance fiancé was the one for him.

However, the couple got married and fell into the franchise's shadows as they never reappeared on the series again. On the other hand, many other couples have received extra spotlight within the franchise, whether for their successful love stories or for their tumultuous actions. While stars like Paola and Russ Mayfield were becoming franchise favorites, members like Angela Deem and Jasmine Pineda were being dragged through the mud. While I love to hate some of the cast members myself, I'm beginning to notice more similarities between myself, humanity and these riotous 90 Day Fiance stars.

'90 Day Fiancé' Stars Had Traumatic Experiences

Stars like Angela and Jasmine act out and take situations to an extreme for a variety of reasons. Three of the biggest reasons are that they feel disrespected or unheard, which can involve some sort of unhealed traumatic experience. Some stars like Jasmine were cheated on. Other stars like Big Ed Brown were bullied. Meanwhile, others were scammed for money and a green card. These experiences made it difficult to trust but also made them tolerate behavior they normally wouldn't otherwise. Angela complained countless times about Michael's disrespectful attitude and his double standards.

Jasmine often felt disrespected by Gino's actions, which led to her outbursts. This was evident in Before the 90 Days when Jasmine broke down about Gino sending her nudes. When I think of their situations from this point of view, I can recognize how similar my own experiences are to these stars and I can understand why they act out. I agree, Jasmine and Angela are extremists, but I still find their emotions and actions relatable, because if a couple isn't ready to separate, toxic behaviors generally ensue.

These '90 Day Fiancé' Stars Welcome a Vicious Cycle

This type of behavior can lead to a vicious cycle in the franchise, which is an issue I'm noticing already. In 90 Day Fiancé Season 2, the most notable tumultuous couple appeared on-screen: Danielle and Mohamed Jbali. However, for the most part, the couples were more authentic and seemed to have genuine issues relating to their relationship and the K-1 visa in the beginning. Couples gained their notoriety from overcoming the odds of the K-1 visa and blending their families together, not because of their arguments or toxicity.

However, once stars like Big Ed and Angela appeared on-screen, their riotous antics took over the headlines, and they continued to appear on spin-off after spin-off. The casting of newcomers also changed as the franchise was filled with more clout chasers and scammers than true love stories. Any publicity is good publicity and while we might hope for some stars to be removed, keeping their names in the headlines only brings them more fame.

In the end, having negative experiences to draw upon and not having the best examples of love can set these couples up for failure already. Then, because of these experiences, these 90 Day Fiancé couples either struggle to communicate or fail to set healthy boundaries, causing them to accept behavior they normally wouldn't tolerate. I'm sure I'm not the only fan to watch this series and notice some similarities between myself and these stars. While their actions certainly make for great reality TV, I think we could benefit from recognizing how their actions mirror ours. 90 Day Fiancé and its spin-offs series air on TLC, and are available to stream on Max in the U.S.

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