The recent reviews for the three McDonald’s locations in Altoona, Pennsylvania are all one stars.
“This location has rats in the kitchen that will make you sick and your insurance isn’t going to cover it,” said a “local guide” who left a review on Google.
“Do not stop here if you’re an American hero. They will sell you out,” said another.
“More like Narc-donalds…. I hope obesity and heart disease are in-network in PA. Deny, defend, depose, diarrhea @ McDonald’s,” said a third.
One of these McDonald’s was the place where police arrested Luigi Mangione, a person of interest in the December 4 assassination of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson. Everyone who has ever interacted with the American health insurance system hates it and Mangione has become a folk hero on the internet since the killing last week.
The press, police, and experts are dissecting his life, but the public is finding new reasons to love him and expressing their displeasure at his arrest by posting bad reviews. The Daily Beast reported that Google is removing negative reviews for McDonald’s, but many are still present and it’s still possible to leave reviews for the restaurants. Google told Gizmodo that it’s watching the threads and only allows reviews that reflect someone’s real-world experience. “These violate our policies and our being removed,” a Google spokesperson said.
Yelp is handling it in a different way. The site has shut down reviews of the Altoona locations entirely, but all of the old reviews are still there. If you try to pull up the reviews for these McDonald’s on Yelp, you’re greeted by an “Unusual Activity Alert.”
“This business recently received increased public attention, which often means people come to this page to post their views on the news,” the popup says. “While we don’t take a stand one way or the other when it comes to this incident, we’ve temporarily disabled posting of content to this page as we work to investigate whether the content you see here reflects actual consumer experiences rather than the recent events. Please note that we apply this same policy regardless of the business and regardless of the topics at issue.”
It’s very funny, to me, to see Yelp fail to take a stance one way or the other on whether an assassination is good or bad. Is this an automated message it deploys whenever something like this happens? Yes. But, I think, this was maybe a moment that required the human touch.
Yelp hasn’t finished checking the old reviews and there are pages of them. Some of them are funny, some are sad, but they all express anger at American healthcare and support for Mangioni. “Avoid this McDonald’s location they’re out of your network,” the first one-star review said. “This food will send you to an early grave and no health insurance will cover that—they’re in the business of denials.”
“The staff was rude and they called the police on my friend Luigi,” another said. “There were rats everywhere.”
Some are long, epic, shitposts that compete with the best 4chan greentexts. “Never eating at this McDonald’s again. Went in for a Big Mac and instead watched Officer Snitchy McSnitch (Employee of the Month) call the cops on a HERO. The guy was just enjoying his McNuggets after literally uniting Americans, but this cashier hit 911 faster than he’s ever made a McFlurry,” my favorite said.
The reviewer went on: “The fries were cold—just like this employee’s heart. I hear he got promoted to Assistant Manager for his ’outstanding citizenship,’ probably complete with a hall monitor sash and a lifetime supply of McMoral Flexibility. And of course, the ice cream machine was broken, though not as broken as my faith in humanity after witnessing this. At least Wendy’s minds their business. P.S. The Hamburglar would be ashamed of you, Officer McSnitch. At least he only stole burgers.”
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