What if the story of how you met your husband became a runaway hit Netflix series starring Kisten Bell and Adam Brody? This is the current reality for Nobody Wants This creator Erin Foster. Foster has plenty in common with Bell’s character of Joanne—both host a podcast with their sister and both fell in love with a Jewish man (Foster converted to Judaism)—but Foster is clear that Nobody Wants This is fiction inspired by her life. The series has already been renewed for a second season, and here, in the days before they—and Bell—each received Golden Globes nominations, Brody and Foster got together via Zoom to discuss the delicate balance of portraying a real-life love affair with poetic license, including one particular scene taken directly from experience…
DEADLINE: Congratulations on being renewed for Season 2.
ERIN FOSTER: Thank you! I’m in the writer’s room, so we’re working on making magic happen again. Hi Adam, did you not know I would be here?
ADAM BODY: No! I didn’t know.
FOSTER: Now you’re probably really nervous.
BRODY: I know. Holy sh*t.
FOSTER: You really pulled yourself together.
BRODY: I’ll rip up my notes [literally tears up a stack of papers].
DEADLINE: Oh, boy. It’s on. Tell me how you both first connected?
FOSTER: Netflix was, I think, pretty actively looking for something for Kristen. When they bought the script and bought the show, they already really knew that they wanted Kristen to be the lead, so she was locked in pretty fast. Then pretty much right away, Kristen was like, “I know who the guy is. I know it’s Adam Brody, and I’m going to give you a minute to audition people, do your process, do your thing, but I guarantee you that’s who this is.” She just knew right away.
BRODY: What did you say?
FOSTER: I was like, “I don’t think so.” [Laughs] No. I’d seen him recently in Fleishman is in Trouble, and I really loved him in it. I think a lot of us saw him in Fleishman as this adult, very grounded version of this actor we knew when he was younger. I loved the idea, but I also loved the idea that I could audition every single Jewish actor from here to New Zealand. I was like, “OK, even if we end up with Adam, how cool that I can literally just audition every single Jewish man.”
BRODY: Surely you couldn’t audition every Jewish man?
FOSTER: I got to most of them.
BRODY: You’ll have to tell me about that sometime.
FOSTER: The thing is that Adam is offer-only, as is Kristen, so I wasn’t going to be able to see them [audition] together and I wasn’t going to be able to see Adam giving me any of the scene work or anything like that. I had to hope there’s chemistry, hope the vibe is there.
BRODY: Did she read with people?
FOSTER: No, she never read with anyone. She would have, but there was not one single audition that felt right. Not one.
DEADLINE: So, then you had to take this massive risk. Adam, has Kristen told you why she knew it was you?
BRODY: Only subsequently through interviews I’ve done with her, when she’s telling a third party. It’s a combination of, I don’t know…
FOSTER: You don’t have to say it. I’ll say it. You don’t have to compliment yourself, I’ll compliment you. The character is a very specific thing that we needed and we were looking for. Kristen was positive Adam had all this as an actor and as a person, that he could play someone very confident, very attractive, who has rizz and can be very flirtatious, but also have emotional maturity and healthy boundaries, and also be really funny. That’s hard to find, because a lot of the guys that we auditioned, it’s like there was an edge or a darkness to them that the character does not have. The character shouldn’t have a chip on his shoulder, or an inner, angsty anger. You don’t want to feel that. You want to feel this lightness from this person, and that’s hard to find. Adam had all of that.
BRODY: Yeah, I had no edge. I was all round. I know.
FOSTER: Not like an edge of bad, but you have a cool edge.
DEADLINE: That bad stuff that comes from insecurity and ego, that’s the mean edge that we don’t see in this character.
BRODY: Yeah. A comedian’s edge. A bitterness, if you will.
DEADLINE: Yeah, exactly. Erin, I remember watching your Instagram when you were getting married and you said something like, “To all the people who said I wouldn’t find someone because I was too much, or it was too late for me, you were all wrong, because look, here’s this amazing man.” So how do you cast someone effectively inspired by your experience of finding a needle in a haystack?
FOSTER: Yeah. I think, like anything, there’s a thousand ways that this could have gone wrong. Casting the wrong person is probably the top of that list. I think it’s a thousand happy circumstances coming together. Adam being the right person for it. Adam being at the exact point in his career where he wanted to do something like this. You hadn’t wanted to do romantic comedies before, right?
BRODY: I wouldn’t say that exactly. It’s just this was better than what had come my way in a long time. It wasn’t so much I was avoiding the genre, I was just looking for quality.
DEADLINE: Adam, what was it about this script that made you say yes?
BRODY: I first heard about it as back channels coming through from Kristen, and that was very enticing. I’ve worked with her before. I’ve had very great experiences with her. She’s a real light. Then I was curious to read, but I thought, “Oh wow, we would make a great pair and a romantic comedy in LA sounds lovely.” Then when the script, months later, finally came to me, I was immediately charmed. I loved the misfit of him being a rabbi. It starts, and you don’t think he’s a rabbi. Then the audience finds out when she does that he’s a rabbi as he’s exhaling pot smoke. That’s such a trailer moment. It’s such a fun thing to do, and I thought, on one hand, the religious aspect of it to me, I was more unsure of. Angelenos and dating, no problem, I can do that, but then very quickly, also I was like, maybe I’ll underplay the religious aspect. But then, very quickly I thought, “No, that’s what makes this different. That’s what makes it fun. That’s what makes it interesting. It’ll be a whole lot of, 3000 years of history and culture to sink my teeth into.” That’s what makes it extra and what I got excited about, actually.
DEADLINE: I know your family is Jewish, but you weren’t really raised deeply involved with the faith. What would you say has been the impact on you doing all of the research work? You obviously read a lot, studied a lot.
BRODY: I can’t believe such a short time ago I knew so much less about this vast subject and I can’t imagine not knowing it now. I don’t want to talk out of turn. Literally, either of you, feel free to correct me if you think this is wrong, but having studied Judaism now for a bit, and no other religion, it seems like, and maybe it’s a product of the many expulsions, there’s a real emphasis on history and a study of the timeline and people went here, then here, then here, then here, and tracing it on back through the generations. That feels, at a cursory glance, unique to me, so I just think that’s interesting, the real tracing the chain of it all back and connecting to that in some way. It connects you to something. I don’t want to say not even necessarily in a religious sense, but just in a lineage sense, in a historical sense, that can be… comforting is the word I was looking for. There’s something comforting about it.
FOSTER: When you’re playing someone who ostensibly is just a regular guy, but has this deep belief system that you personally don’t have and you’re shining a light on it… I really appreciated Adam coming to that and wanting the character to be all in on what he believes in. Even though Adam as a person maybe doesn’t believe in those same things, he still wanted the character to want to protect it, and I really appreciated that.
DEADLINE: Erin, people are going to assume that this is the factual story of you and your husband Simon instead of fiction inspired by experience. How did you navigate that with him and your family?
FOSTER: It was really complicated for Simon and I for a while. He’s a really private person, or at least he used to be. It was hard for him to not want to discourage me from writing about our dynamic or things in our life, but he also didn’t want to censor me, because he realized that that’s what I do for a living, so that was sticky for us for a little while. Then we had some pretty big breakthrough moments where he really realized he needed to get out of the way and just let me do what I do.
Also for Simon, me converting to Judaism was an enormous big deal for him and his family. It was a huge offering on my part, so the idea that I wanted to write about it or make a show that shone this positive light on Jewish culture or Jewish people was such a mitzvah to them that it got him excited. But it’s weird for him out in the world. People think he’s a rabbi. He’s not. In some ways, it’s amplified his Judaism in a way that he’s not trying to have it amplified. He’s just a Jewish guy in LA. We went to a Shabbat dinner with friends and someone was doing prayers, and they were like, “Simon, did we do that right?” He’s like, “I’m not a rabbi. I’m just a guy who went to temple growing up.” He’s very happy for me, but he would love to not be at the center of it.
DEADLINE: I imagine there’s a lot of funny conversations where people think that he’s Noah on every level?
FOSTER: That’s the other thing. He feels a little bit like he’s been put on a pedestal because Noah represents this perfect man. Even with his flaws, the flaws are still very palatable. Simon is like, “I’m just a person and I’m flawed, and I don’t want to be put on a pedestal, because no one can live up to that.”
DEADLINE: Adam, knowing how much this is inspired by Erin’s life, how much did you guys talk about the reality of her story with Simon, versus just focusing on the script?
BRODY: It would come up if I had a question about the script. I wasn’t seeking out Erin to go, “What really happened? I need to know,” but just in our many conversations about a particular moment, oftentimes she would offer, “This has happened,” or, “This is based on him,” which was very helpful.
DEADLINE: In “The Ick” episode, I know there’s an element of that that’s very real for you Erin, and it’s such a pivotal moment for fans. How did it feel to just let Adam and Kristen tell that particularly important story taken from your life?
BRODY: Yeah, can I echo that question and just say, because I haven’t really asked Erin this, but do you ever feel like, “Oh, those are our doppelgangers? That’s weird,” especially in that episode, which is probably the most true to life of all the episodes.
FOSTER: For sure. Sometimes it’s bizarre. Early on, I remember Kristen came in to read with actresses for the part of Morgan. She came in and she’s like, “Oh, I was just listening to your podcast and getting the cadence and everything down.” That was the first time I ever realized that she was actually trying to play me, because that was never the intention on my part. I was just like, “This is just a girl and this is her story, and whatever the actress’s interpretation of who that is will feel right or wrong to me.” I didn’t really realize she was studying me. That wasn’t something I was expecting.
I definitely didn’t need Adam to study my husband, because it’s taken away from real life, but a bunch of things were important to me. It was really important to me that Noah played basketball. It seems like a silly thing, but for him to be this very emotionally evolved, sensitive, warm, compassionate person, I really wanted him to have this hyper-masculine side of him that felt young and bro-y and more like a guy’s guy, because it offsets that in a way that feels like that perfect combination for a woman. I really wanted that roughness and the softness to come together.
Then two writers, Lindsay Golder and Jane Becker, came into my office last year. They were like, “We’ve noticed there are two stories you really want to tell: ‘The Ick’ and basketball. We really want to make those episodes, because they’re important to you.” The women really felt like it was a universal story, which is that you fall for someone and you think they’re perfect, and then they’re so emotionally available, they see you so clearly, so fully, and they’re offering everything that you think that you want. The concept of that is so scary and overwhelming and you don’t know if you deserve it, so you sabotage it by picking at something completely ridiculous, and you decide that because they have salad dressing on their mouth, that you definitely cannot marry them. It feels so rational in the moment and you can’t unsee the thing you saw. I think that that happens a lot, maybe more to women. I don’t know if we’re more nitpicky or something, because the men in the writers’ room did not understand this concept.
DEADLINE: They didn’t? Adam, do men not understand the ick? What’s your take?
BRODY: I do understand being turned off by something, and I do understand that moment in a relationship where you’re like, “Yeah, everything’s not going to be a turn-on, but you’re going to have to go through the unattractive and attractive.” I understand a commitment to that, but I didn’t really identify, at least myself, with, “Oh, that could be a turn-off to me, but because I’m scared that you will leave me, it’s the reverse and I’m pushing you away so you don’t.” That, to me, actually doesn’t resonate in the same way, I have to say.
FOSTER: What it was for me in real life was if you’re a strong woman, if you have strong opinions and you have a big personality, when you see a man that is warm and gentle in some ways, it signals that they won’t be able to handle your strength and your big personality and that you’ll walk all over them. That is a feeling that has given me the ick before, where I feel like a man is not going to be able to fully take charge of our life together because I’m going to dominate.
In “The Ick”, it’s supposed to be like he’s trying so hard to win her parents over, it looks like weakness to her, because he cares so much. It feels wimpy. It’s such an important moment when Noah is like, “I’m not going to let you make me feel bad about wanting to impress your parents. That’s a good thing. You’re messed up, not me. I’m not doing anything wrong. You should want to be with someone that brings your mom flowers.” That was a moment I did have with Simon before we were married, and I had gotten the ick for 100 guys and broken things off with them in a million different ways because I didn’t like their soft side that I was scared of. But this was the first time ever anyone had ever not let me make them feel bad about it. Simon was like, “No, I’m not going to let you make me feel bad. I like you and I’m trying to impress your parents. That’s a good thing and you’re f*cked up.” It just woke me up a little bit and made me realize that I think that there’s probably a lot of women who would appreciate and respect a man who just stands in that and doesn’t let them get spooked easily. I didn’t know if that moment was going to land for anybody, because it was so personal to me that sometimes, you’re too close to something. It doesn’t work.
DEADLINE: It lands hard for everyone I’ve ever spoken to about this show. Now, about Season 2: Adam, where you would love to see Noah’s character go?
BRODY: I’m very excited just to follow Erin’s lead and the story she wants to tell and this relationship she wants to explore. I think there will be and should be [elements going] back to his religion, which is his job, which is his passion. I still think there’s a reckoning coming in terms of, these people have very different worldviews. Again, it’s not just his religion. It’s his job and it’s his life’s work. There’s many more conversations to be had about, are we going to either see eye to eye on this, or if we don’t, is that compatible? Can we not share this in the same way but still have a relationship where enough is shared to make it worth it? Therein lies a big crux of the drama.
DEADLINE: Erin, I know that you’ve said that this couple do not have the exact same journey as you and your husband had. I know also that at some point when you were dreaming up Season 1, you had it at a faster pace where they’re getting married, and you slowed that down. I hear we’re going to pick up almost immediately where we left off, is that’s still the plan?
FOSTER: Yeah, it’s not the same night, but just more or less a continuation.
DEADLINE: You’re shooting this in February, right? What can you hint at in terms of where Joanne and Noah are headed?
FOSTER: I would say that the goal for Season 2 is that if you watched Season 1 and 2 together, you wouldn’t feel a big difference. It should feel like a continuation of the same dynamics, the same feel, the same cadence. Netflix, I have to give a lot of credit, because they pushed us to go as slow as possible in Season 1. Like you said, originally they ended in getting engaged, they ended in getting married, maybe. It was way too fast. We slowed it all down. When you watch the season, it feels like you’re really with them in real time, dating. It spans the course of what, three months in Season 1 maybe? You really feel the weight of each moment because experiencing it in real time as opposed to lots of time passing, so we’re going to continue going on that slow trajectory. Really, my goal is to be able to have as many seasons as possible, because this is my livelihood, so if I can go slow, then we just keep working on it and not jump ahead. All the big, romantic moments that you want to feel in that first year of a relationship, we want the audience to be able to feel. I know now what hooked people and what sunk in and what stood out, so the goal is to give people that and not make some weird artistic choice and rob them of the joy they want to feel.
DEADLINE: Can you envisage staying with this for four or five seasons? You could tell a whole family story.
FOSTER: Adam, are you available?
BRODY: Four or five feels right. This doesn’t feel like an It’s Always Sunny situation. This feels like four or five. There was a moment, before the show came out and it was a real success, I was like, “What if they’re just already married and she’s pregnant when we go to Season 2, and we just get to Seinfeld-in-LA it? Obviously, it was such a success, I thought, “That’ll never happen and that’s fine.” Let’s take it.
FOSTER: Adam has been very sensitive to the idea that we have to acknowledge the point of life that these people are at. They’re not 25. It is weird for the conversations to not come up about having kids and getting married. That’s the point in your life that these people are. That’s part of the beauty of the show, too, is that people really liked a love story that wasn’t so young because this is when people are dating now. This is when people are finding their partner, a little bit later in life, because people are more career-focused in our generations, so I always appreciated him being mindful of that. We don’t want to rush it along, but we’re also not going to stall.
Nobody Wants This is streaming on Netflix now.
English (US) ·