No More Everythingmaxxing: Why I'm "Minusing"

Looksmaxxing, sleepmaxxing, fibermaxxing, healthmaxxing, longevitymaxxing, cyclemaxxing, even grandmamaxxing. Lately, it seems like every corner of the internet is riddled with people "maxxing", or maximizing, one aspect of life or another.

The concept spread like a disease after manosphere content creator Clavicular popularized the term "looksmaxxing," which refers to the practice of optimizing one's physical appearance by way of skincare, cosmetic surgery, or practices like "mewing." (Worth noting: this content is primarily targeted at young men.) Suddenly, "maxxing" became a ubiquitous suffix across the internet, as creators began sharing how to bring every niche topic to its extreme.

Personally, I'm wary of any concept that's plucked from the depths of toxic masculinity — and this one is no exception. Although so many of these concepts seem wholesome in nature (what could be wrong with getting more fiber in your diet or optimizing your sleep?), even positive sentiments brought to their extreme can be detrimental. It can breed obsession and unhealthy hyperfixation — and, frankly, it all feels a bit too familiar.

I entered the workforce in the millennial "girl boss" era in New York, when hustle culture was at its peak, and running on empty was a badge of honor. Part of this was a side effect of being in my 20s, when I was wildly ambitious and hungry to keep moving up the ladder as quickly as my legs could carry me. I said yes to every new opportunity and responsibility that was thrown my way, never once pausing to think about whether or not I was draining my cup; there was no space for that, I was squeezing out every single drop of effort my body could give. I was maximizing my potential.

During those years, immersed in the wellness world as a journalist, I also watched the health-trend pendulum oscillate between one extreme to the other. Raw veganism was all the rage, and then carnivore diets reigned supreme. We went from dabbing the excess grease off a pizza to mixing butter into coffee. Even bodies had trends — slender bodies were desirable, and then muscular glutes were the "it" look. It seemed like every day, there were new studies flooding my inbox about some seemingly benign food we needed to cut from our diets entirely, and within years we would learn those fears were dramatically overblown.

It was, in a word, exhausting.

As I scroll through social media now, with words like "sleepmaxxing" and "fibermaxxing" littering my feed, I fear it's simply a rebranding of the same toxic cultural patterns we've seen on loop generation after generation. These concepts, like so much of problematic media, prey on our deepest fears and insecurities about not being enough as we are. They imply that if we simply lean in, and optimize these intricacies of our life, then maybe we will be whole and worthy and lovable.

The thing is, chasing extremes rarely gets you where you want to go. From where I'm sitting, as a 30-something millennial still recovering from burnout (thank you, hustle culture), I'm so tired of maximizing. Instead, I'm adopting a new principle: minusing.

Now, before you come at me for introducing even more internet nonsense, allow me to explain. In this era of my life, I've realized that running myself into the ground in the name of self-improvement is not only counterproductive, but also unnecessary. Throughout my 20s, steeped in the wellness world, I began to hyperfixate on maintaining a healthy lifestyle and thriving at work — to the point that the stress of constructing a perfect version of myself actually began to deteriorate my health. In retrospect, I realize the more I dug in and obsessed about maximizing every element of my life, the less mentally and physically healthy I became.

Now, as I'm bombarded with new ways to hyperfixate on my diet or how I look, I'm trying to quiet the noise through some self-reflection. Can I unfollow accounts that aren't benefitting my life, and spend less time muddling through the slop of social media in general? What are the healthy habits that really sustain me and help me feel like my best self, and which ones are causing me more harm than good? How do I really want to spend my energy, and who do I want to spend it with? What activities fill my cup, and which ones drain me? What can I say "no" to in order to find my space in my life for stillness, spontaneity, and even boredom (which is, after all, the birthplace of creativity)?

Ultimately, the concept of minusing is about getting in touch with yourself, and noticing what's actually improving your life, and where you can subtract those things that aren't (be it people, commitments, habits, obsessions, or otherwise). In weeding the garden of your life, you create fertile soil for beauty to blossom. Maybe cutting back on your over-the-top gym schedule gives you space to try out another hobby you've neglected. Or perhaps paring back your 15-step nightly skincare routine gives you time to read a bit of that book on your TBR pile before bed.

For me, I've been trying to cut back on my screen time to open up space for offline creative expression (creative writing, sewing, playing an instrument, etc.). And while I used to compulsively feel the need to fill every minute of my weekly schedule, I'm trying to leave more room open on the weekends for rest (previously, I wouldn't take any downtime until my body was screaming at me to pause, and I'd wind up couch-ridden for a full day). I've even been working on adopting a scroll-free Sunday, where I allow myself to pour through a novel, go for a leisurely walk, or putter around my home.

Minusing will look different for everyone, but the key is really to offer yourself a bit of grace and kindness. One thing I've learned over the years as someone immersed in the world of media is that the internet thrives on extremism. That's what gets you to click. That's what keeps you scrolling. That's what keeps you locked in.

But just as the world is not so black-and-white, a healthy life doesn't exist in the extremes. To truly thrive, in a way that's sustainable, balance is key. So as toxic messaging continues to pull us in disparate directions, and tries to manipulate us into believing we aren't living the "right" way until we're "maxxing" out x, y, and z, I encourage you to turn down the volume on the nonsense. Instead, listen to your intuition, use your critical thinking, and consider the kind of life you want.

Kristine Thomason is a lifestyle writer and editor based in Southern California. Previously, she was the health and fitness director at mindbodygreen, and the fitness and wellness editor at Women's Health. Kristine's work has also appeared in PS, Travel + Leisure, Men's Health, Health, and Refinery29, among others.