Millie Mackintosh reveals she hid her Xanax use from Hugo Taylor as she reflects on how her drinking problem 'caused the relationship a lot of damage and drama'

Millie Mackintosh shed light on the tortured side of her marriage after news of her split from husband Hugo Taylor came to light. 

Speaking to pal Roxie Nafousi on her podcast Rise With Roxie, the Made In Chelsea star, 36, revealed she had hidden her Xanax use and the extent of her alcohol abuse from her husband of seven years - leading to 'damage and drama'. 

On addiction affecting their relationship, she said: 'When I stopped, we had to, you know, really do some work on our relationship because my drinking had been quite problematic... you constantly feel like you're on the back foot with your partner'. 

The star, who released self-help book Bad Drunk last year, has been candid about her sobriety journey and how she would binge-drink and self medicate, leading to shame around her parenting to daughters Sienna, five, and Aurelia, four. 

On Monday, it was revealed Millie and Hugo, who met as teenagers, first dated during E4's Made In Chelsea and married since June 2018, had split after 'deciding they were better apart after serious conversations'. 

In the wake of the news of the split, Millie lifted the lid on the darker side of her relationship and how her addictions tied in with their issues. 

She continued: 'I mean, I hid it from him. Like he didn't know, the Xanax use was like he didn't really know that was going on...

'I wouldn't tell him that I was taking it, but the drinking definitely did cause a lot of fallouts and yeah towards the end I knew also if I didn't stop that it was really causing the relationship a lot of damage. It was just drama.'

Millie explained that they had to work on their relationship when she finally addressed her issues with addiction - however their split has since been revealed. 

She said: 'When I stopped, we had to, you know, really do some work on our relationship because my drinking had been quite problematic...

'Like anyone in a relationship, I think, that has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol will know what it's like to constantly wake up and regret something you've said...

'Or something you did and constantly feel like you're on the back foot with your partner because you'll regret something that happened when you were drinking.'

Millie detailed what led her to seek out the use of prescription drugs, saying: 'I'd be like really depressed and the anxiety would be out of control...

'And what became quite dangerous towards the end was that I was mixing like Xanax or Valium with alcohol, but I was also using it to deal with the hangovers which meant then I could actually drink more...

'So instead of just being so hungover and being like, I'm never drinking again, I'd ease into the hangover before I got out of bed I would just literally be popping a pill and then I'd still have alcohol in my system probably be like 'oh I feel fine again'...

'Then maybe be like okay I'm going to drink again that day. You can really transfer addictions from one thing to another.'

She admitted that taboos surrounding addiction pushed her into a corner, saying: 'I was so scared to talk about it. I nearly didn't put it in the book because I was so scared of the judgment around it...

'But I think it's one of those dangerous things that isn't talked about enough as well because of the shame around it.'

Millie has spoken candidly about how she began binge drinking at a young age while at boarding school, using alcohol to cope with being away from home, bullying and her own insecurities.

She released Bad Drunk last year, documenting her journey to sobriety and her efforts to let go of the toxic cycles and shame associated with her past.

After joining Made In Chelsea at 21, Millie said her drinking escalated even further as she faced trolling over her appearance, which triggered anxiety and panic attacks.

On Thursday it was revealed the couple had 'quietly separated following a difficult start to the year'. Sources close to the pair say they remain committed to co-parenting their young children, who continue to be their priority.

A source revealed: 'Millie and Hugo are currently going through a separation and have sadly decided to split. They have known each other for many years, and in recent weeks, have had serious conversations about their future, ultimately deciding it's better for them both to part ways....

'Their main priority remains their children and family life, and separating is not something they ever hoped would happen...

'At present, they are considering what living apart might look like and how they plan to navigate co-parenting their young children. It's been an incredibly difficult start to the year, and one they hope to continue managing in private.'

Millie travelled to India last week to attend a wellness retreat designed to 'heal' the nervous system while Hugo was on a skiing holiday.

During her stay, the reality star, who was pictured without her wedding ring, shared several posts alluding to a new chapter in her life.

On Sunday, she posted a quote that read: 'You don't always have to know what comes next in your journey.

'Sometimes you just need to be where you are and know that it's okay to be there. There is so much beauty in accepting yourself, right here, in this moment.

'No matter what you are working towards, I hope you can always remember that finding peace in the present moment is just as important as the path ahead.'

In 2013, the heiress married rapper Professor Green, 42, but the couple divorced in 2016, the same year she rekindled her relationship with Hugo. 

The pair tied the knot two years later and welcomed their first daughter, Sienna, in 2020, followed by Aurelia in 2021.

Hugo later shared his love and admiration for Millie, admitting he had been 'obsessed' with his wife from the moment they met.

On Instagram, he wrote: 'Love is pure happiness, obsession, someone you can't live without. I've felt this way about you since the day we met over 20 years ago. Happy Valentine's Day.'

Millie responded to his declaration by calling him her 'life partner' and saying how they couldn't live without each other.

To celebrate their first year of marriage, Hugo wrote Millie a love letter, which she framed and later shared on Instagram. In it, he penned: 'I am so proud of you.

'For 365 days you have shown me what true love really is. By the strength of you character the humility of your spirit and generosity of your soul, you have raised up our marriage to heights I never thought would be possible.

'You have led us with courage and fortitude through tumultuous and difficult times to be stronger than I ever could have imagined. I have learnt from you that one never gives up in working to build a life together.

'I promise to the day I die, I will never take you for granted, never stop trying to make every year of our lives together as happy as our first together to never let you down and always give you what you deserve.'