Married At First Sight star Emem Obot is so frustrated with her husband Ikechi Ojoré that she's lashing out verbally, and that might make her seem like a villain, but really, there are valid reasons why she's so annoyed with him. Temper tantrums aren't usually a good look for reality cast members, but who hasn't lost their temper with someone? There's no one who has remained calm for an entire lifetime.
When Emem expresses herself onscreen, it's because she's been provoked to the point that she just can't take it anymore. That's why she deserves sympathy, not judgment.
Married At First Sight season 18 features a whole new crop of mismatched pairs, and the experts Dr. Pia Holec, Dr. Pepper Schwartz and Pastor Cal Roberson have some explaining to do. While the series has never had the best success rate, in large part because marrying complete strangers is just too much pressure, the methods the experts use when they put couples together could use some tweaking. It seems like pairs are matched to stir up drama onscreen, rather than due to true compatibility.
The Experts Have Failed Emem
She Needed A More Passionate Man
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Normally, if a system doesn't work, a person tries new things to get a better result. While the trio of experts may have done this, as the disastrous match that is Emem and Ikechi shows, the pivots aren't really hitting the target. Emem is living out a waking nightmare with her new husband - it's eons from a fairytale romance. She's matched with a guy who thinks she's too "aggressive." When he says stuff like this, it's like waving a red flag in front of a raging bull.
It's like telling someone who's already incredibly upset to "relax." It is pure provocation.
The key to unlocking real romantic happiness is just appreciation. If someone starts out by criticizing their partner's personality, as Okechi did when he said he preferred more of a gentle Southern style, they are playing with fire. There's no foundation to build on - the romance isn't structurally sound. It's a castle built on sand, with the tide about to come in.
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Of course, she's not perfect either. Emem is impatient, wanting perfection from her partner too early in the process. She doesn't really understand him, as he's the type of man who doesn't really enjoy conflict. There are people who like to fight. They may even like getting a rise out of people just so they can battle them. They may enjoy making up too.
Okechi's not like this. He genuinely hates being verbally attacked. To make things work, she needs to soften her remarks and demeanor. Her bold style just rubs him the wrong way. In fact, it makes him miserable. When she criticized his answers during a chat, it pushed him away. He didn't want to be around her for a while. The two took space from each other, but as hotheads do, Emem soon wanted more combat, or to try and smooth things over. He wouldn't respond to her messages.
That led to a nasty meltdown that was almost volcanic in terms of its intensity. Of course, it was the feisty Emem who lost it, calling her wayward partner a "clown" who showed up wearing a "joker a*s suit." That's not dialogue a person's going to hear in a syrupy rom-com or Disney love story. That's because this type of unbridled honesty leads to hurt feelings... the emotional wounds can fester.
While every couple fights, the fact that things are so heated early on makes their altercations seem more like the death throes of an ill-conceived marriage. This isn't typical bickering - it's basic personality differences that are serious. They cannot get on the same page.
There's nothing definite about the couple's fate - there are spoilers, but they haven't been proved yet. For those who prefer the element of suspense, there is the possibility that the pair stuck it out, but it's highly unlikely. He doesn't want an "aggressive" partner - she doesn't want to be ignored. They're operating at different emotional temperatures, and some vital element is missing between them, which might make the forthright Emem balance out her milder partner.
Lack Of Attraction May Destroy This Marriage
Something Is Missing
The absence of attraction is probably the issue. There isn't a lovey-dovey quality. Some aspects of their relationship are interesting, and both are trying in very different ways, but it's not nearly enough. If that truly romantic quality was there, Okechi wouldn't tell his wife that he preferred women with softer personalities. That was a declaration of war. It's hard to come back from stuff like that, and he's mature enough to know exactly what he's doing.
Likewise, when he didn't answer the messages, it was a power play. Of course, since they're being filmed, they're going to interact again. So, what was the point of the ghosting? Well, it was about power - about showing his partner that he was unwilling to be bossed around. Also, since he knew from her texts that she was so emotional, it was cruel too. Yes, she'd gone too far, but they're supposed to be husband and wife.
Petty power plays will destroy relationships. Is the person who makes a weak power play stronger than the person who doesn't? Relationships are complicated, especially on Married At First Sight, so there aren't any easy answers. The truth is that some couples are just doomed from the start. No matter what they do, they're wired so differently that peace is pretty much impossible. In such cases, throwing in the towel is the only way to reset. Both can try again, or just chill out as single people.
Married At First Sight pushes people into unnatural situations, and viewers get to see if they can sink or swim. The incompetent MAFS experts say they're trying to give people access to matches with "forever" potential, but the prognosis is often grim. Emem isn't too mean - she's just with the wrong person. Okechi isn't too wimpy - he just needs a more sensitive partner.
Married At First Sight airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. EDT on Lifetime.
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Release Date
July 8, 2014
Cast
Pepper Schwartz
, Calvin Roberson
, Viviana Coles
, Jessica Griffin
, John Aiken
, Mel Schilling
, Alessandra Rampolla
, Logan Levkoff
, Joseph Cilona
, Greg Epstein
, Rachel DeAlto
, DeVon Franklin
, Pia Holec
Custom image by Cesar García 
Custom Image by Cesar Garcia
English (US) ·