Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos' NSFW Confessions May Make You Blush

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So much for pillow talk. When husband Mark Consuelos joined Kelly Ripa for a February 2017 episode of Live! With Kelly (some six years before he claimed a permanent spot at the desk), she used the opportunity to issue a complaint. 

"When there's special married couple time in our house," she explained, "he's immediately mean to me afterwards and I don't like that. I think it's bizarre. He becomes short with me, like irritated." 

Though Kelly later insisted it was just a joke, her husband of two-plus decades felt the need to defend himself when he noticed her quip had become a trending news story. "I just wanted to set the record straight that no one can be mean after something if they are unconscious," he declared on-air days later. "I sleep."

Echoed his bride, "Maybe that's what I meant. I didn't really mean mean. I meant completely disinterested—like sound asleep."

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There's a reason kids Michael Consuelos, Lola Consuelos and Joaquin Consuelos are forced to tread lightly whenever they take an innocent scroll through social media.

Consider the time Mark revealed he'd be "taking over" the Instagram feed for his series Riverdale during a 2019 episode, prompting Kelly to comment, "Oooooooooooo. Daddy, I love when you take over."

It's just one of the reasons why the morning show fixture is pretty confident her children have done their best to erase any sign of them from social media.

"I'm certain they have blocked any channel with any mention of our names," Kelly told E! News in April 2023. "Just like they block us on social media. They block us any way they can."

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Is that your gun or...? When Kelly posted a series of Halloween throwbacks in 2020—including Mark and pal Bruce Bozzi in full CHiPs regalia—her husband had a little something to say about the tight fit of his trousers. 

"Full disclosure, I believe that's definitely a shadow that's causing that bulging effect," he commented, causing his wife to reply, "ummmmm baby are you seeing shadows?"

And when Kelly appeared on E!'s Daily Pop days later, she wasn't afraid to address what her man was packing. After host Justin Sylvester noted that was why they'd been married so long, she responded, "It's not the only reason. But I would say the top three."

Kelly Ripa/Instagram

Not that she's griping, but the Halloween photo frenzy caused Kelly to get in the habit of doing a full-body scan before sharing any family memories. 

When Justin Sylvester commented on Instagram that Kelly had been very deliberate with the images she'd shared from a November 2020 tropical getaway, the morning host cheekily replied, "You have no idea how carefully. And how limiting it all is (I'm not complaining)." 

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"I was like, none of this would ever be happening in the Mark Consuelos household, because he would have nipped all of this in the bud immediately," Kelly said of the marital turmoil they watched. "He would have been like, 'Oh, you're upset? I know how to take care of that. Oh, you don't feel good about something? I'll take care of that. Oh, you're feeling like maybe you're overworked? I got you. I know what you need.'" 

She continued, "Because everything for Mark is settled with—" before Mark interjected, "Love."

Kelly added, "Love and sexy time." Mark said, "Not everything. Not everything!" But she confirmed, "Just about almost everything."

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Mooooooom! Apparently celebrating youngest son Joaquin's 18th birthday brought to mind memories of being in her birthday suit. Because when Mark posted an Instagram tribute in February 2021, writing, "Our little guy is all grown up," Kelly commented, "You know what? Making him was so much fun."

And apparently quite the international experience, with Mark noting he was, uh, "made" during a trip to Montreal. 

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When Andy Cohen tasked his good pal with playing a game called "Have You Schtupped There?" on a September 2022 episode of Watch What Happens Live, the answer was unequivocally yes.

Public bathroom? Check. On set during their All My Children days? Mm-hmm. When they were on a boat? Uh-huh. As Cohen cracked, "You used to go to the bay in front of my house and schtup on that boat of yours."

But while he surmised, "based on your Instagram PDA alone, it's hard to imagine a place you and Mark haven't done the deed," there are a few spots that remain unchristened. Kelly confirmed they hadn't (yet) gotten busy in a car on the way to an event, in a department store dressing room or on the set of her daytime talk show. 

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Kelly's favorite position? The one that puts her good side on display. At the height of the pandemic, when she was based in NYC for her show and he was shooting Riverdale in Vancouver, "We had sexual rituals that were so ludicrous," she recalled on a March 2023 episode of her Let's Talk Off Camera podcast.

And also quite crafty. "I became so alarmed at my appearance over FaceTime," she noted, "that I started hanging the computer on a ladder, so that I could look up to Mark [and] he did not have to see what gravity was actually doing."

Live with Kelly and Mark/YouTube

Apparently Kelly isn't the type to mix business with pleasure. While commenting on the romance that spelled the end of Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes' stints as co-hosts on ABC's GMA3, Kelly joked that she and Mark were following network protocol now that he's joined her behind the Live desk. 

She and her husband of 28 years "have taken a vow of chastity while we'll be working together," Kelly shared on Watch What Happens Live this past April. "Because I know how ABC does not like that, you know, TV partners banging on the side," she added. "So, we promise, no banging on the side." 

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Once youngest Joaquin was off to college in 2021, the married duo got used to feathering an empty nest. "Mark and I had gotten into our habits of just sort of wandering around as we please, you know, leaving the doors open as we please," Kelly told E! News in June. "And then, lo and behold, Lola comes back from London and now we've gotta lock it up again. Joaquin came home for his summer break, and we had to lock it up again."

And when her parents moved into their New York pad for a stretch, the lack of privacy forced them to get a bit more creative. "You have no idea," she cracked, "the lengths that we go to." 

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When Lola moved back in with her parent for her last semester of college, she got into the habit of walking into their bedroom without knocking—a practice they were desperate to break.

So, in pure Mark fashion, he teased their daughter on what to expect when she enters their room unannounced from now on.

"Be warned Lola Conseulos. 'Cause this week's freaky week, isn't it?" Mark quipped during a January episode of Live! With Kelly and Ryan. To which Kelly replied with a laugh, "Why this week? Is this historically freaky week?" Mark noted with a smile, "It is now."

As for what led to the NSFW warning? Mark and Kelly explained during the episode that after Lola kept opening their bedroom door without giving warning, Mark had a chat with her.

"I said, 'Lola, I don't want you to take this the wrong way,'" he explained. "'I'm very excited that you are home. We missed you. You are the heart of this family. You're so funny and you're just fantastic. But you gotta knock.'"