For many cinephiles, Greta Gerwig's Lady Bird has become one of the most deeply loved films of the 21st century. An undeniably honest, painful, and beautiful portrayal of the coming-of-age experience, Gerwig's movie is one that admirers quickly developed a passionate and meaningful relationship with. Due to the director's piercing insights into this time in one's life, this tale of a 17-year-old girl traversing through her final year of high school in Sacramento in 2002 is somehow incredibly specific, yet totally universal.
Much of the film's conflict and emotional weight is centered around the relationship that exists between the titular Christine "Lady Bird" McPherson (Saoirse Ronan) and her mother, Marion (Laurie Metcalf). Throughout Lady Bird, we see the two characters consistently clash and reconcile. Often times, a moment of anger or frustration is followed up directly by a tender and sweet embrace, or vice versa. As Gerwig once put it in a scene breakdown for the New York Times, "I think that's how mothers and daughters are with each other. They fight and they love really hard." One particular scene that takes place in a thrift store near the beginning of Lady Bird's third act showcases this dynamic more clearly than any other, while perfectly summing up the fraught child-parent relationship that is being explored throughout so much of the film.
'Lady Bird's Best Scene Perfectly Encapsulates the Central Tension Between Parents and Kids
If you had anyone in your life who was unfamiliar with Lady Bird, this scene would be the only thing you needed to show them in order for them to understand why this is a film that means so much to so many people. It captures a fairly mundane activity; Lady Bird shopping for a prom dress alongside her mother, but the deeply-considered approach that Gerwig takes to the exploration of the emotion that arises in this scene is anything but ordinary. The distance that has been growing between these characters — as well as some of the reasons for it — is on full display at the beginning of the scene.
Marion first tries to ascertain whether Lady Bird's interests have changed since the beginning of the year, and then makes the mistake of following up Lady Bird's expressed frustration at not fitting into a dress the way she would like to with "Well, I suggested you not have that second helping of pasta." It is the kind of comment that a parent may make in an attempt to be helpful or truthful, but obviously only comes off as critical to the child. When Lady Bird finally exits the changing room wearing a dress she feels good in, a simple question of "Is it too pink?" from her mother sets up a dialogue exchange that has been ingrained in the minds of so many lovers of the film since 2017.
Lady Bird retreats back into the dressing room following her mother's critique of the dress and, through the door, asks Marion why she feels the need to offer criticism, instead of just saying that she looks nice. Then, in a moment of pure honesty, without even a hint of teenage angst or rebellion, Lady Bird opens up to her mother and says, "I just wish ... I wish that you liked me." Metcalf plays the moment beautifully, allowing the audience to feel Marion's heartbreak, but also making us aware of the very real toll that these interactions with her daughter take on her. "Of course I love you," she says in an attempt to reassure Lady Bird. "But do you like me?" is the sorrowful and heart-rending response delivered perfectly by Ronan.
This is the moment when the central tension that exists between these two characters is finally confronted in the most raw and honest way possible. That painful honesty is then taken up another notch when Marion, somewhat struggling to keep up with her daughter's direct line of questioning, offers the parental platitude of "I want you to be the very best version of yourself that you can be," to which Lady Bird responds, "What if this is the best version?" Marion is left speechless, but gives a look that says more than words would be able to. Due to the age, life experience, and wisdom of this character, she knows the answer to her daughter's question, but clearly feels that this isn't a moment when that answer needs to be vocalized.
Greta Gerwig's 'Lady Bird' Is as Specific as It Is Relatable
The questions asked by Lady Bird in the thrift store dressing room, and Marion's responses, make up potentially the most soul-baring, insightful, and concisely poignant movie scene of the last decade. In just a few lines of dialogue, Gerwig allows her characters to express their full truths in a believable and recognizable way. It is not the typical grand, climactic argument that takes place in so many films centered on a fractured relationship, nor does it paint one character as the "bad guy" or "good guy." In fact, one of the greatest strengths of the film is Gerwig's ability to honor and give equal attention to both the mother and daughter's points-of-view. As they are both presented as flawed characters, we see each of them make mistakes, but neither is ever villainized. No matter what they say or do to one another, we understand that they are both well-intentioned people who care about the preservation of their relationship.
"Of all the places I could be, I just want to be here with you."
In this scene, we recognize that Marion, like so many parents, does genuinely want the best for her child. She is working to give her a life and opportunities that she never had. But, conversely, we see how, from Lady Bird’s perspective, this frequently comes across as a critical approach from her mother. While Marion wants her daughter to live up to her full potential, Lady Bird feels that there is, perhaps, a standard being set for her that she won't be able to live up to. She wishes that her mom would be less concerned about the future, and pay more attention to the version of her daughter that is standing right in front of her. Throughout the exchange, the concise bits of dialogue land like punches thrown in a heavyweight bout. As a viewer, you can feel the impact that each comment or question has as a result of the characters' deep connection and the long, complex history of their relationship. We are also able to understand how, as is the case in many child-parent dynamics, the similarities that exist between Lady Bird and Marion are actually the driving force behind many of their disagreements and conflicts.
Due to scenes like this, Lady Bird is the kind of film that fans will have a growing and evolving relationship with. Anyone near the age of Ronan's character at the time of the movie's release probably felt connected to her journey and the emotions she expressed. As time goes on, though, they will develop a greater appreciation for, and understanding of, Marion. Correspondingly, viewers around Marion's age most likely found sympathy for Lady Bird through being reminded of some of the potentially forgotten harsh realities of growing up, despite inherently aligning more with Metcalf's character. It takes a truly talented filmmaker to make such a special and enduring work of art.
Custom Image by Nimesh Niyomal
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