'I put myself in a difficult position but I have no regrets': JOEY ESSEX opens up on his very dramatic love life, truth about his debts after his company collapsed... and the family tragedy that drives him

'You’re going to see Joey Essex for who I really am,’ says, er, Joey Essex. The reality star who likes to refer to himself in the third person is about to compete in tough new ITV challenge show The Box, hosted by Gary Lineker. 

‘I’d like to say people will see the smart version of Joey Essex for the first time on this show,’ says the boyish 36-year-old, proud of the way he surprises his fellow contestants at times. Then he remembers it also goes the other way, and laughs. ‘But they will also see the not-smart version of Joey Essex, actually.’

The latter is the version who first became famous on The Only Way Is Essex 15 years ago. His name, surprisingly, is real and has nothing at all to do with the county where he lives. Joey Don Essex was born in Southwark, south London, in 1990, and his family moved north of the river to Chigwell, Essex, when he was a child. 

Since breaking through, Joey has appeared on almost every reality and quiz show going. He’s made a living out of being good-looking, cheeky, charming and apparently comically dim. Or, as Joey puts it, ‘My friends think I’m ridiculous. I’m just not that intelligent.’

And yet, this is a man who has launched his own clothing and fragrance ranges, lives in a huge house with a pool in Chigwell, and is reported to be worth more than £8million. Is it all an act? Even his family aren’t sure. ‘My own dad said to me a little while ago, “You do know how to tell the time, don’t you?” I said, “Dad, I genuinely don’t.” I swear on my life, I can’t.’

His campmates on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! in 2013 famously tried to help him do something he’d failed to learn at school by drawing clock hands in the sand, but the problem persists. ‘If I had a watch on I could give it a go, but when the hands are wonky, there’s a bit of confusion.’

There’s a terrible, tragic reason why some aspects of his development were arrested at a young age, which he will talk about today. But like Jade Goody before him, this Essex boy has flipped the whole thing and turned a reputation for being daft to his advantage. 

Has he been playing a character all this time? ‘Kind of. I’m very different around my friends. I talk very fast. I’ve got a natural funniness. If someone calls action and the cameras are on, I know what people want to see,’ he says. ‘They want to be entertained. 

'I wouldn’t say I’m a comedian because my jokes are terrible, but I use my innocent side. I play on being Joey Essex, because everyone knows me.’

His nine fellow contestants on The Box are surprised to realise Joey is fitter and sharper than they thought, though, starting with the former footballer and manager Graeme Souness. ‘Love Graeme. Legend,’ says Joey. ‘I think what he was trying to say is that when you meet me for who I really am, you can see that I’m actually quite normal, not the clown that people have seen for 15 years. 

'I’ve got my strengths and weaknesses, just like everyone else. My strengths are that I can bring energy. I can make everyone feel confident, ready to do whatever we need to do next. I’m always up for a challenge.’

That’s tested to extremes in The Box, the contestants of which also include Dragons’ Den’s Sara Davies and John Bercow, former Speaker of the House of Commons. They are put inside yellow shipping containers, each the size of a telephone box, and taken to an unknown location, where they have to open the door and figure out the nature of the task they are facing. 

Some challenges are silly, like when they find themselves on a race course with an egg and spoon each, but no clue whether to run fast or far. ‘The games are mind-boggling,’ admits Joey. ‘They show how the brain works. Mine clearly wasn’t working the best that day, because I ran off set. I got so far I realised, eventually, that there was no cameraman, so I had to turn back.’

Some challenges are physical, some mental, some test their courage. ‘It’s a mix between SAS: Who Dares Wins, the jungle on I’m A Celebrity… and every reality show possible, I’d say, because I’ve done them all,’ says Joey, who has indeed appeared on everything from Splash! to Love Island – with one huge exception, which we’ll come to. ‘This is the maddest,’ he adds.

The trailer for The Box shows a shocked Joey at the top of a very high tower, hundreds of feet above the ground, yelling, ‘Oh my God, where am I?’ Today he says, ‘I’m getting sweaty talking about it. That was definitely the most fear I felt.’

But he was also afraid during a challenge in a classroom, competing to answer questions against real schoolkids, with Gary Lineker as the teacher. ‘That was weird. It didn’t go down well for me. Gary was saying, “OK, it’s not an act.” The kids were all cleverer than me, but I bring warmth. When they got asked afterwards who they liked, they shouted out, “Joey!” All these seven and eight-year-olds. Bless ’em. They were so smart.’ He seems sweetly thrilled they liked him. 

What were the questions? ‘Stuff you would be expected to know. There was history, geography, I’m just not wired up like that.’

So, how is he wired? It’s a question Joey’s parents and teachers asked when he was young. ‘I’m extremely dyslexic. I was the only student in my school to have a lady sitting next to me in all my classes, telling me what to do. I used to cry because I couldn’t do what I was being asked to do.’ 

That was already the case when his mother took him to an open day at his next school, at the age of ten. ‘Sadly, she then passed away. Three months later, I was turning up at school without a mum in my life.’

Tina Essex took her own life at the age of 37 after struggling with depression. ‘Back then, there was not really help you could get,’ Joey says. His teachers did try. ‘They asked, but I went like this…’ He turns his back. ‘I just didn’t want to talk about it. All my family members were men. Dad’s got two brothers. Mum had two brothers. Men don’t talk about their feelings and they don’t want to open up. 

'Today, it could get touched on, but back then there was no such word as Mum. There was no Mum.’

He associated school with her loss. ‘I remember looking in the mirror and saying to myself, “Doesn’t matter, this school stuff. I’ll be just like my dad. I’ll be tough. I’ll be strong.”’ Joey had therapy while making the BBC documentary Joey Essex: Grief And Me in 2021 and is now an ambassador for Child Bereavement UK.  

‘I must say, West Hatch High School [in Chigwell] did look after me. They did as much as they possibly could back then. But that whole period of my life just was frozen.’

The only lesson he loved was drama, and he’s tried to revive his ambition to be an actor. ‘I went to acting school three years ago. I had to learn a scene from Jumanji and something from Romeo and Juliet… That was hard. They said they’d pass me and take me on… but I never went back. I thought, “It’s too much. I can’t do it.”’

It’s all the more remarkable, then, that he will soon make his acting debut in a short film written and directed by a friend of the family, Geoff Bell, who’s famous for playing hard men, such as in MobLand. The film is yet to be given a title or a release date but Joey’s pleased. ‘I’ve really shocked myself. I can’t believe what I’ve just done, it’s incredible.’

He looks bulked up today, in black shorts and a white T-shirt, his dark hair cut close. He’s been sparring at the gym run by his uncle Tony Sims, where boxers Anthony Joshua and Conor Benn have trained. 

Joey asked for help after seeing social media figures like Jake Paul earning good money from streamed fights. ‘He looked me in the eye and said, “If you’re gonna take this seriously, I’ll train you. If you don’t take it seriously, don’t bother coming back.”’

He beat Portuguese influencer Numeiro at Manchester’s AO Arena last year. ‘The idea was to have one fight, entertain and win, just to show I can do it. I ticked that box, massively.’ Now he’s got his eyes on more opponents, including – eventually – Tyson Fury’s brother. ‘Tommy Fury said in a recent post he reckons he’d do me easy. I don’t know about that.’

Joey’s fierce competitive spirit came out too much on Love Island in 2024. Some viewers thought he was petulant, even a bully. Joey says it was hard being the first celebrity into the villa, as all the girls wanted a date and all the boys were jealous. He paired up with one girl, ditched her when his ex-girlfriend Grace Jackson arrived, then went off with a third, Jessy Potts. After the show Joey and Jessy appeared together on This Morning and declared, ‘Love is in the air.’ Then they split up.

Does he have any regrets? ‘Not really. I don’t have regrets. I put myself in a difficult position. I’m not blaming anyone. I had a good time, personally. I made big headlines. It was good for them. Their viewing figures went through the roof.’

Is it hard to be in a relationship with Joey Essex? ‘If I met someone who didn’t know me, it would be easier. Most women I date know who I am, what I do and what I’m like.’ Is he ready to settle down? ‘I’d love to. I’d love to have children. That’s what I want next in life. But I don’t want to rush into that unless it’s right.’ Is he single? ‘I’m in a good place.’

The same can’t be said of Joey Essex Management Ltd, his company that reportedly collapsed last year with debts of £1.2million. Joey frowns when I mention it and turns to his manager Dave, who is with us. ‘What happened with that?’ he asks. Dave says: ‘I’m not qualified, it’s above my pay grade, but Joey’s only ever signed the paperwork he’s been advised to sign. One of his companies is being liquidated, isn’t it?’ Joey sighs and says, ‘Yeah.’

His home was on the market for £2.75million earlier this year, supposedly because he had moved to Dubai. ‘I did base myself there for a while, but just to prepare for the fight,’ he says. Is it still for sale? ‘Kind of. I wouldn’t sell it unless I was happy with what I got for it. I love that house. I worked so hard to get where I wanted to be, so even if someone offered me great money it would be a tough decision.’

Nobody can doubt he’s worked hard. Is he the king of reality shows? ‘I’d take the crown if you passed me one.’ Is there a show he wouldn’t do? ‘Strictly. It would take a lot for me to do it.’ Money? ‘That would have to be there, for sure. It’s a lot of work. I can train for three months, get in the ring and have a fight for 12 minutes, or I can do six months of dancing [for the same cash]. I’d rather fight.’

For now, though, his attention is on The Box rather than the boxing. ‘People are gonna fall in love with everything about this show,’ he says.

It remains to be seen whether he’s right, but Joey Essex is smart enough to know he has to stay on message. It’s why they hire him for everything. ‘This is primetime. People are going to be excited to get their Chinese takeaway, sit down and watch it.’

The Box launches on Saturday, September 5, with episode 2 airing on Sunday, September 6, on ITV1, ITVX, STV & STV Player.