I hate to say this about Brittany Hockley, but the toxic talk about her marriage didn't come from nowhere. I can't be the only one thinking it: AMANDA GOFF

1 week ago 7

God, people are stickybeaks, aren't they?

The minute you have even the faintest whiff of a public profile, everyone suddenly feels entitled to know everything about you, like you're a curious species in a cage, rather than a real human being with feelings.

I know, I know, the irony isn't lost on me. I am a columnist and it is my job to know what's going on, but the social media sleuths love to stick their oar in, don't they?

This week, readers, my column is about someone who will no doubt now be nodding their head in agreement about this: former Bachelor star-turned-Life Uncut podcast host Brittany Hockley Siegrist.

For the record, I have no beef with Brittany. In fact, every time we've exchanged DMs, the 38-year-old presenter has been nothing short of lovely.

She came on my radar in 2022 when the always unreasonable Abbie Chatfield chose Britt as her next victim. Abbie accused Brittany of slut-shaming her during a segment on the Kyle and Jackie O Show (RIP) when she was filling in for Jackie.

Britt Hockley spent the weekend defending her long-distance marriage in an Instagram Q&A

Daily Mail columnist Amanda Goff says it's a lesson in making promises publicly

Brittany, of course, did nothing of the sort. Abbie merely sensed a feud she could milk for content and clout, and went for the jugular. (Hopefully, she's since learned her lesson after one of her targets sued for defamation and won, but I won't hold my breath.) I wrote then that I was on Team Brittany - and I still am.

So let me be clear, this certainly isn't one of my savage columns that invites the subject to post a 12-minute video rant about me. Hi, Constance Hall!

But boy, did poor Britt cop it over Easter. Instead of cracking open chocolate eggs, Brittany spent the long weekend defending herself on social media - specifically, defending her long-distance marriage.

For those unaware, Britt lives in Sydney, and her husband, soccer player Ben Siegrist, resides in Italy where he plays for Serie A club Genoa.

And for some reason, Britt's fans - and I use the word 'fans' loosely - seem to have a problem with that.

In an Instagram Q&A, Britt was grilled with pointed messages about why she isn't living in the same country as Ben - especially after announcing late last year that she would be making a permanent move to Italy to be with him.

One 'fan' asked: 'Why did you say you were moving to Italy when you're not?'

Britt shot back that she stayed in Sydney because she had been offered a great gig hosting the MAFS after-show for Stan. I mean, God forbid a woman changes her mind, especially for an offer like that.

Hats off to Brittany though, she didn't shy away from the snark, and answered the questions that followed calmly and with humour, telling her hundreds of thousands of followers that the long distance between her and Ben keeps the excitement alive.

She even said she believes she and her husband know each other better than if they lived together due to their long conversations most days.

And honestly, I believe that – half my girlfriends who are married barely speak to their cohabiting husbands. But that's not the point here. Let's establish the facts first: sorry to disappoint Brittany's online frenemies, but the dream marriage isn't even remotely over. The couple are happy and there is no scandal.

Brittany explained that her plans to move to Italy to be with husband Ben (pictured together) were shelved when she got a job presenting the MAFS after-show on Stan

She answered a rather pointed question from a social media follower...

... then got shirty, calling the question 'accusatory' - which it undoubtedly was

Britt called the questions she received 'accusatory' and she was spot on. Far from a fan genuinely asking if all is okay, it sounded like a fake bestie digging for dirt to share with the other mean girls.

Ask any woman: there's one friend like that in every group chat, so you can bet there are a few hundred lurking in every thousand followers.

Secondly, I've long held the view that living together (and worse, sharing a bathroom) can actually ruin a perfectly good relationship. Far from being cause for concern, the Siegrists' marriage sounds close to bloody perfect: a few months in Sydney, then off to Italy to share a bed with your strapping soccer-star husband for weeks at a time. Where can I sign up..?

But - and there's always a 'but', even for the celebs I quite like... can Brittany really be so offended by the so-called 'gotcha' questions?

They're annoying, rude, nasty - sure. But she lives in the public eye. Her podcast is literally called Life Uncut – a promise of the uncensored, the unvarnished, everything laid bare.

Here's what happened: she said she was bound for Italy but stayed home and didn't explain why to her fans. A follower asked what was going on - rudely, I'll admit - and Britt got shirty.

In December, Britt said she had seen her husband for a total of 10 days since their June nuptials

I'm sure it's tough having to defend your marriage against parasocial fans with no clue what's going on, but let's be honest here: Britt has wanted to be famous forever (she had a TV showreel ready before she was even on The Bachelor!) We know it's part of the game.

There's an unspoken rule among media folk: if you're in the public eye and you spill your guts for viewers, listeners, readers (and revenue), then you're going to get probing questions now and then.

Basically, you give it out and take it back.

It doesn't mean the questions are fair and asked in good faith – tall poppy syndrome is certainly alive and kicking in Australia - but famous folk have to cop it on the chin.

In return you get money, fame and the luxury of speaking into a microphone for a living - instead of facing rush-hour traffic and wearing a name tag to work.

Look, I'm no celebrity but I did have a brush with fame in my former life as high-class escort Samantha X, and with three memoirs under my belt, I've been open and honest about my experiences.

And while telling the truth sets you free, it can certainly be sticky when you want to reverse-ferret on decisions you've made and talked about publicly.

Case in point: years ago, I retired from being Samantha because I found love.

I declared to the world I was hanging up my heels, only for the relationship to swiftly go south. I was mortified - and had to go back to work with my tail between my legs.

Yes, I was deeply hurt and embarrassed, but I had to be honest about it because a) my brand was about honesty and b) someone would find out and dob me in anyway.

It was definitely a life lesson, and I have often wondered why I didn't keep my big mouth shut at times. Even my psychologist advised me gently to 'learn how to lie'.

Anyway, long story short, throwing my life plans out there then changing course invited the sort of naysayers and 'frenemy questions' that Brittany seems to be dealing with now. It sucked, but I didn't complain because, well, I let them in, didn't I?

That's what happens when you make your life your brand.

(FYI: I retired again years later, and even if I wanted to go back to my former life, I couldn't because everyone would know in five minutes.)

Before you accuse me of lacking sympathy, let me be clear: I genuinely felt bad that Britt had to spend her weekend defending her unorthodox-but-happy marriage against trolls posing as concerned fans.

But I wasn't surprised. Not at all.

Britt talks about her long-distance marriage - frequently - even admitting in December: 'I think I've seen him ten days since our wedding in June. It's now Christmas! It has been six months and I have seen him for ten days.

'This can't work anymore.'

These are the kind of sweeping declarations that make for terrific podcast content but also invite the bitches in when plans change and you're left to explain yourself.

Britt's bruising weekend offers a simple lesson: when it comes to private matters, some things are better off left on the cutting-room floor – even if you insist on living your Life Uncut.