How I Use Makeup to Fuel My Confidence as a Queer Black Man

Growing up in the South as a Black, queer man wasn't always easy, but I was blessed with something many others didn't have – a mother who accepted me unconditionally. Her beauty routine was simple but memorable: an Imari deep violet blush and burgundy lipstick reserved only for Sunday church. Yet, in those moments, she looked absolutely ethereal, teaching me that makeup wasn't about quantity but finding what makes you feel divine.

While her support was always my foundation, it wasn't until a devastating breakup in college that I truly began to understand the transformative power of self-expression through makeup. In my lowest moment, I walked into a MAC store, sat at the makeup counter and, with tears barely held back, asked them to make me beautiful.

In those days, the MAC counter was more than just a makeup store – it was a sanctuary where everyone went to discover themselves. The MAC makeup artists were known for their ability to bring out the baddie from within, transforming not just faces but confidence levels.

The makeup artist who helped me that day didn't just apply products – she helped me see myself through new eyes. Like so many others before and after me, I found myself drawn into the magic that MAC artists seemed to possess. As she worked, explaining each step and choice, I began to understand beauty as a form of self-care rather than a mask. What started as a desperate attempt to feel better evolved into a profound journey of self-love and acceptance.

Those early days at the MAC counter were a rite of passage: everyone knew that's where you went when you needed to find yourself, when you needed a transformation beyond makeup. Witnessing my mother's minimalist approach to beauty had taught me about grace, but the MAC counter taught me about power and possibility. Both lessons merged into something uniquely mine during my own experimentation with products and techniques, ultimately leading to my career in the industry and later me becoming a beauty journalist.

Being Black in the South meant sometimes struggling to find the right shades, but it also meant discovering creative ways to celebrate my skin tone rather than trying to conform to others' expectations. The challenge of finding products that worked for me turned into an opportunity to develop my own unique style, one that honored both my complexion and my identity as a queer individual.

Some days, a bold lip color feels like armor against a world that isn't always kind to Black queer folks. On other days, a subtle stroke of Patrick Ta blusher becomes a quiet celebration of my glow. Every look is an opportunity to tell my story on my terms. My first MAC makeover, which began as an attempt to heal a broken heart, became the beginning of a beautiful journey toward self-discovery and empowerment.

Being visible as a Black queer person wearing makeup sometimes feels like a radical act. Each time I step out wearing a look I love, I hope it helps another young person feel more comfortable in their skin. Representation matters, and I've learned that sometimes the most powerful statement is unapologetically being yourself. When younger people in my community tell me that seeing me embrace my identity gives them courage, I'm reminded of how my mother's effortless grace gave me the strength to be myself.

Even all these years later, any time I put on my makeup, I come alive — there's no one else in the world but me. In those moments, I'm the main character, the star of my show, and I can trace this feeling back to that life-changing experience at the beauty counter. That day didn't just teach me about makeup – it taught me about the power of self-love and authenticity. Every sweep of blush and stroke of mascara reminds me of the journey I've taken, from seeking validation to celebrating my unique beauty. In my reflection, I see not just my face but the culmination of years of growth, self-discovery, and the beautiful defiance of being unapologetically myself.

Stixx Mathews is a New York City-based freelance beauty writer with 11 years of experience who is passionate about telling stories that merge beauty and pop culture. He enjoys sharing his expert insights about the latest trends and must-have products, with a particular focus on lipstick and fragrance.