Gremlins: The 10 Most Hilarious Quotes From The 1984 Film

Gremlins is one of the best holiday horror movies ever made — a family-friendly yet often scary tale of a boy and his supernatural pet. It's been decades since fans were introduced to the adorable little Mogwai known as Gizmo, not to mention his less-than-savory offspring. The classic 1984 film was followed up with an equally funny (and very different) sequel in 1990 before the franchise ended for three decades before Max brought it back as a streaming series focusing on a young Sam Wing and his adventures with Gizmo.

The first Gremlins film broke new ground in several ways, some of them very controversial. It was one of the first films that would lead to the creation of the PG-13 rating due to its gore and violence. Yet, for all its wicked humor and bleak tone, Gremlins was, and is, a very funny movie with great one-liners, some slapstick comedy moments, and all the heart that someone would expect from a film with Steven Spielberg involved. This allowed for plenty of hilarious and sometimes heartfelt quotes throughout.

15 "There Just Might Be A Gremlin In Your House."

Randall Peltzer

The last lines of Gremlins was a quote by Randall Peltzer that really made the fable tie together with a morality story. The full quote is: "If your air conditioner goes on the fritz or your washing machine blows up or your video recorder conks out; before you call the repairman, turn on all the lights, check all the closets and cupboards, look under all the beds, 'cause you never can tell — there just might be a gremlin in your house."

It was a nice ending, with Randall really giving the lesson that every parable or fairy tale needs to tie it all together and connect it with the viewer. The Gremlins, in this movie, are all about the creatures that often cause mischief and make things happen that often seem unexplainable. This could have been a quote that was too much at the end, spelling out the film's lesson, but instead, it comes across as humorous and almost charming and ties it all together with a bow.

14 "You Do With Mogwai What Your Society... Has Done With All Of Nature's Gifts. You Do Not Understand."

Grandfather

When Randall wants to buy Gizmo at the start of the movie, the Grandfather, who owns the creature, refuses him. The man says that the Mogwai is not for sale, regardless of the cost. Randall said he thought everything was for sale there, but the old man said that he wouldn't sell the Mogwai, especially not to someone from the West. As he said, there is too much responsibility, but he knows that even if he tells them what they need to do, the people won't listen.

This then played into his "I told you so" quote. He said that his point was proven, that no one will listen to him and do the responsible thing when it comes to caring for a creature as delicate and combustible as a Mogwai. He then delivered this quote while nodding at the television, letting them know that society destroys all of nature's gifts, and they almost did the same thing to poor little Gizmo. As the entire family felt guilt, he dug his knife in deeper and told them, "You are not ready."

13 "How Come A Cute Little Guy Like This Can Turn Into A Thousand Ugly Monsters?"

Sheriff Frank

There is a point in the movie where Billy is trying to convince Sheriff Frank about the danger of the Gremlins. While Frank doesn't believe him, Billy shows him Gizmo, and it slightly makes the sheriff believe there is something different here. However, he still won't listen to Billy's warnings. Frank asks this question, and Billy explains the "pupal stage," which Deputy Brent refuses even to entertain. When he mentions not to get them wet, Frank says to bring the "kid some water."

This ties into the entire idea that the Grandfather said earlier in the movie when he warned Randall that people would refuse to listen and would not be responsible enough to properly care for and protect the Mogwai. Frank is yet another example of how even authority figures would ignore warnings and do the wrong thing, which will just hurt Gizmo and make things worse in the end. Billy quickly realizes he is on his own if he wants to stop the Gremlins.

12 "Ah. Yum, Yum."

Stripe

While Gremlins has a lot of funny dialogue, there isn't a lot that people re-quote after seeing the movie. However, this is one line that is often impossible not to use repeatedly after viewing the film. Before they morphed into evil Gremlins, the little Mogwai would be in the house wanting food and loved to chirp out the cutest little 'yum, yum" when they wanted to beg for more. This then translated to an even more guttural quote when they went full Gremlin, and Stripe still used the line.

The Gremlins were at the movie theater, preparing to sit down and watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, when they noticed the popcorn machine. This excited them because they knew it was food, and they wanted more to eat. Stripe went up and smelled around the popcorn machine and said, "Yum?" However, he then looked across the street and saw the candy store, and that is when he delivered this excited quote, knowing where the best snacks were.

11 "Oh Neat."

Stripe

Stripe and the other Gremlins were evil creatures, intent on death and destruction, and they were learning things at a rapid pace. As Billy was told, the problem with regular people owning Mogwai was that they would often do the wrong thing and teach the creatures bad things about the world. That happened, even if Billy didn't mean it, when Stripe showed up and began to see things around him, changing into the destructive creature that began to run rampant in the town.

When the Gremlins first began to tear apart Billy's home, his mother took the battle to them. One of the Gremlins began to strangle her with the Christmas tree lights, and Stripe delivered this quote. He was clearly learning things, but these things were not what he was meant to learn, and instead, it turned him and the others into killing machines, something they took full advantage of until Billy finally ended them in the film's climax.

10 "Hey Kate, You Haven't Seen My New Apartment."

Gerald Hopkins

"I Haven't Seen Your OLD Apartment."

Nothing is worse than dealing with an arrogant superior at work, and Gerald Hopkins certainly fit this role. This young hotshot climbed the ladder in his small town of Kingston Falls and thought he was ready for the big leagues. Unfortunately, he got a big head and believed that he could get away with anything, no matter how low or how unethical it was. In an attempt to one-up Billy Peltzer, Gerald openly hit on Kate Beringer at the bar she worked at during weeknights.

Gerald started out with a rather assuming line before Kate fired back a reply that made Billy smirk with amusement. The one-liner was cheesy enough for Gerald and fit his personality. However, Kate's retort was perfect since it showed she wasn't going to put up with his attitude and was willing to stand up for herself, making her the perfect female lead for Gremlins.

9 "You Should Just Buy Orange Juice In Cartons. It's A Lot Easier."

Pete Fountaine

Billy's father Randall was an inventor whose reach far exceeded his grasp. His attempt to make life easier through the wonders of technological innovation made it way more complicated. Case in point — his Peltzer Juicer. This monstrosity of a kitchen utensil was straightforward in concept but a disaster in the real world. The device was meant to turn fresh oranges into fresh orange juice. However, it was a disaster and caused a mess every time anyone tried to use it.

When Billy awakes the morning after receiving Gizmo as a Christmas present, he fires up the juicer, causing a kitchen catastrophe, with juice, peels, and a huge mess left behind rather than a nice batch of orange juice. Pete Fountaine showed up to survey the carnage, muttering this blunt, funny, and applicable observation. Clearly, it would be better to buy orange juice than to destroy the kitchen in a failed attempt to make it themselves.

8 "You Got...You Gotta Watch Out For Them Foreigners, 'Cuz They Plant Gremlins In Their Machinery!"

Mr. Futterman

Mr. Futterman was fired up when he was kicked gently out of Kate's bar on Christmas after having one too many. The character is intentionally portrayed as highly xenophobic, giving audiences a good reason to laugh at him and his deplorable beliefs. In this scene, he remarks about "Gremlins" planted in the machinery, which is akin to ridiculous conspiracy theories such as chem-trails and a flat Earth.

Futterman's particular conspiracy theory was even more laughable, but it must have come as quite a shock later in the film when Gremlins commandeered his trusty plow and drove it straight through the front of his house. It's doubtful he expected his conspiracy to take on such a hideous form. While his line is a bit controversial today, the fact that such a buffoon of a character utters it makes it more acceptable, especially since he gets what is coming to him later when the real Gremlins show up.

7 "This Is A Cocoon, And Inside He's Going Through Changes. Lots Of Changes."

Roy Hanson

"Like My Mother."

Pete Fountaine and Billy Peltzer were good friends, and Pete was there when Billy first got Gizmo as a Christmas present. He immediately wanted one of his own, especially when he learned that Mogwai multiply if exposed to water. However, that quickly changed when he discovered just how nasty the offspring could be. It got worse when Billy brought Gizmo to school teacher Roy Hanson to run experiments on his physiology.

Overnight, the Mogwai had a go at his sandwich and became encased in a cocoon. Roy attempted to explain the pupal stage to Pete, only to get a hilarious reply from Pete in return. Of course, the changes that the Mogwai were going through were nothing to laugh at in the end, as they returned as Gremlins, all prepared to destroy anything in sight and cause more of a mess than anyone could have expected.

6 "Because I'm The Sheriff, A******!"

Frank

Few things are as despicable as drunk drivers, but that goes double when it's the local police. Triple, if you're the sheriff. Kingston Falls' relatively quiet and uneventful small-town life meant very little if any, crime — a perfect breeding ground for complacency. Christmas Eve saw Sheriff Frank and Deputy Brent get into the eggnog while still on the job.

Brent: "Let me drive."

Frank: "No, you're drunk."

Brent: "You always get to drive!"

Frank: "Because I'm the sheriff, a******!"

Unfortunately, all hell broke loose in the small town that same night when Gremlins invaded and turned it upside down. After Murray Futterman reported that his plow was driven through his house, the two set out to investigate while still intoxicated. It was a shocking moment when looking back at it, and the fact that both officers drove to investigate after having drunk alcohol made for some fun moments when they saw the Gremlins. However, it was still another moment that doesn't hold up today.

5 "Christmas Carolers. I Hate Christmas Carolers. Screechy-Voiced Little Glue Sniffers!"

Ruby Deagle

Ruby Deagle serves as the film's human antagonist, and that's putting it mildly. This uber-cruel character took great delight in belittling, swindling, and hurting other people. Outside the comfort of her home, Deagle was a horrid person that anyone would cross the street to avoid. She was the last possible person anyone would want to be around, and that is really why audiences wanted to see her get what was coming to her, specifically from the Gremlins.

Behind closed doors, however, she softened a bit in her own company (and that of her beloved cats). However, she met an untimely end when Gremlins started singing Christmas carols in front of her door, prompting this hilariously awful quote before she opened the door to the horrors on the other side. It was great to see her coming out to cut loose onto some innocent kids or carolers and end up getting her just desserts from the Gremlins.

4 "Now I Have Another Reason To Hate Christmas."

Kate Beringer

Gremlins is very much a dark comedy in every sense of the word. The tone is ominous, and the humor, while a big part of the film, is incredibly wicked. Nowhere does this become more apparent than in the infamous scene where Kate Beringer finally reveals to Billy why she hates Christmas. It all starts with this quote after Billy and Kate discover that Gremlins have overrun the town.

Kate then goes on to tell a story so absolutely terrible and morbid that one cannot help but laugh at the sheer horror of it. According to Kate, her father died on Christmas Eve when he slipped and broke his neck while he was trying to come down the chimney. He was trying to give her a fun Christmas memory but instead left her traumatized at the entire thought of the holiday season. It's a mind-bogglingly nihilistic scene that complements the rest of the film.

3 "They're Watching Snow White. And They Love It!"

Billy

The frightening Gremlins were chaos incarnate, and they wasted no time turning Kingston Falls into a hedonistic war zone. Nothing was off the table, from substance abuse, arson, vandalism, murder, and yes...even suicide. The Gremlins lived fast and usually died young, at least from their physiological perspective. This made the final scene so hilarious to watch. Billy and Kate end up tracking the Gremlins to the town's local movie theater.

For some inexplicable reason, the Gremlins sat riveted in their seats to a big-screen showing of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Billy couldn't help but express what the audience was thinking as the Gremlins sang along to the popular tunes from the film, and it was a mind-bogglingly bizarre moment, both for Billy and for the audience watching these little monsters loving everything about the animated Disney classic.

2 "You Teach Him To Watch Television?"

Mr. Wing

When the chaos of the Gremlin horde had abated and Stripe dissolved into a puddle of offensive green goo, it seemed like things would finally go back to normal, relatively speaking. The town was a mess, and news of the onslaught had begun infiltrating news stations across the country. It was then that Mr. Wing showed up at the Peltzer household to reclaim Gizmo and take him away.

While the portrayal of the character is unfortunately indicative of vestigial Asian stereotypes of the time period, his reasoning and wisdom were spot on. Mr. Wing realized that their irresponsibility led to a catastrophe despite his warnings. Beyond that, he was also mortified to learn that the Peltzers allowed Gizmo to be exposed to television, prompting this funny quote, even though it was the least of their sins.

1 "Smokeless Ashtray. Man At Gas Station Tried To Sell Me."

Randall Peltzer

Randall Peltzer couldn't catch a break. The hapless inventor had great ideas, but he couldn't make them a reality without the prototypes breaking immediately or soon thereafter. He even thought about merchandising multiplied Mogwai and selling them to kids as Christmas gifts, which thankfully didn't pan out. As a gesture of apology to Mr. Wing for allowing things to get out of control, Randall gave him a Smokeless Ashtray prototype as a gift.

Mr. Wing didn't seem surprised, recognizing it instantly. Nevertheless, he accepted it, claiming that he was sure it would come in useful, somehow. It was a fun moment at the end of the movie that showed Randall's ineptitude with his inventions, Mr. Wing's kindness even after everything went wrong, and the entire ridiculous nature of the Gremlins movie in general.