Eric Dane's widow Rebecca Gayheart reveals she thought he had more time before death from ALS

Eric Dane's widow, Rebecca Gayheart, is looking back at her final days with her husband before his tragic death from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS).

In an interview with Maria Shriver on the Today Show on Tuesday, the 55-year-old actress admitted that she was caught off guard by Dane's death at 53 on February 19 of this year, as she thought he had more time left with her and their two daughters: Billie, 16, and Georgia, 14.

'He had gone to the hospital so many times before, and they would patch him up, so to speak, and he would come home,' Gayheart said. 'And he’d be OK. And we’d go back to the normal routine, which did change week by week.'

Because of that routine, Gayheart said she and her daughters 'never, ever anticipated' that Dane would die in February.

In fact, Gayheart expected that she would 'be back' before Dane's next trip to the hospital.

'I had no idea that that was it, that that week was going to be our last week,' she said. 'And nor did my daughters. It really took a few days for us to understand the gravity of what that last trip to the hospital meant.'

Gayheart recalled how 'everything shifted' by the third day of her husband's final hospitalization. 

Even 'the tone of when the doctors were talking to us, and some of the information we were given' was noticeably altered.

'He was fully aware it was shifting, and he was still communicating with us,' Gayheart said. 

'Not well verbally,' she clarified, 'but I could understand him most of the time.

'The kids could [understand him] most of the time, his closest friends,' Gayheart continued. 

The Urban Legend star said that Dane was aware that his death was imminent, and he 'was figuring it out as we went.'

But even though Dane was no longer able to speak at the time of his death, she made it clear that he was still aware and in control of the circumstances of his death to the best of his ability. 

'I remember the moment Eric decided to make some choices, and he did,' she recalled. 'He was in control of the way he was going to leave.'

To support their father, Billie and Georgia 'camped out' at the hospital by his side, and they created as peaceful a mood as possible with electric candles and a selection of their father's favorite music to 'make it as nice as you can be in the hospital room.' 

Gayheart also tried to stop people from minimizing her heartbreak by thinking that she had time to get acclimated to Dane's impending death.

'A lot of people will say, "Well, at least you knew, and you could have those last conversations,"' she told Shriver. 'But we didn’t know, because there is no road map. No one can tell you what the journey looks like because it’s so different for every patient.'

'He was becoming more alive mentally, but losing all of his physical abilities,' Gayheart continued, adding that her husband's physical deterioration was 'really hard to watch' for their daughters.

'But overall, it’s a blur because it was just so overwhelming,' she added.

The somber interview aired on the same day that Dane's final words to his teenage daughters were revealed, along with the details that he ensured wouldn't be overlooked at his funeral. 

Dane died at age 53 earlier this year, but a memoir he wrote during his health battle has just been released – laying bare his battle with addiction, his relationship with wife Rebecca Gayheart, the first signs of his illness, and his misdiagnosis before getting his 'death sentence' diagnosis. 

My Book Of Days: A Memoir of Moments was released on Tuesday, and in it he described in vivid detail the process leading up to his diagnosis with ALS, which is also known as Lou Gehrig's disease.

The rare, incurable degenerative condition impairs the nervous system over time and causes the muscles to increasingly suffer from paralysis. 

Dane was married to aforementioned actress Gayheart, 55, as they share daughters Billie, 16, and Georgia, 14.

At the end of his memoir, Dane addressed his two daughters directly as he reflected on how he has evolved through fatherhood and even expressed his sadness that he will not be able to walk either of them down the aisle.

He then went on to share his final words of advice for his two girls as he urged them to fight until their last breath.

Dane wrote: 'This disease is slowly taking my body, but it will never take my spirit. The two of you are different people, but you’re both strong and resilient.

'You inherited resiliency from me. That’s my superpower.'

Dane went on to tell them to keep the fighting spirit even when something hits them unexpectedly.

He continued: 'Face it with honesty, integrity, and grace, even if it seems insurmountable. 

'I hope I’ve demonstrated that you can face anything—you can face the end of your days, you can face hell— with dignity. Fight, girls—and hold your heads high.' 

Elsewhere in the memoir, he opened up about his vision for his funeral, from the food to the music and even the speeches.

Dane said that he wanted his funeral to be held at a large venue like the iconic Hollywood Palladium, which has a capacity of 4,000 people.

He also said that music is really important as he wants it to cover the full range of his music taste, including '80s and '90s alternative, new romantics and new wave.

Some of the bands he wanted played included The Smiths, The Cure, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Oasis, The Police and The Talking Heads.

However, he did draw the line somewhere as he wrote: 'I want the place to rock, but please, no nineties rock. No KISS, no Mötley Crüe.'

As for the food, he wanted tables of delicious food, including sushi and the best desserts in Los Angeles.

He also added that if Gayheart wanted to oversee a highlight video, he wouldn't be opposed to it as long as it was lighthearted, as he didn't want his teenage daughters to be overwhelmed.

Lastly, he detailed his vision for the speeches at his funeral as he wanted to keep the list of speakers short, with a max of five people at a tight five minutes max.

He then went on to suggest doing a 'Ho’oponopono prayer' which he learned from a season one episode of The Pitt as it consists of four simple phrases to say to your loved one.

Dane wrote: 'I wonder if you might also consider doing "Ho’oponopono" for me. It’s a Hawaiian tradition, a prayer for the dying called "Ho’oponopono," which means "to make right."'

Dane, who shot to fame on Grey's Anatomy as Dr Mark Sloan aka 'McSteamy,' died February 19 aged 53 of ALS about a year after he announced that he had been diagnosed with the illness. 

Although Dane split from Gayheart in 2017, they remained friendly co-parents and never finalized the divorce, which they called off just before he revealed he had ALS, colloquially known in America as Lou Gehrig's disease.

Gayheart, 55, remained a stalwart source of support for him amid his final decline, even as both of them continued to date other people. 

Dane and Gayheart tied the knot in 2004, two years before he landed his fan-favorite role as the womanizing 'McSteamy' on Grey's Anatomy. 

They stayed together through the scandal that erupted five years into their marriage when a home video leaked of them frolicking naked with an ex-beauty queen.

Gayheart stood by Dane through various personal problems, including his rehab stay in 2011 to wean himself off the pain medication he had begun taking for an injury. 

Six years later in 2017, Dane entered treatment for depression, resulting in a filming pause on his action drama series The Last Ship.

The next year, Gayheart filed for divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences, and the pair agreed on joint custody of their daughters with Dane paying alimony.

Gayheart, who acted infrequently after having children, remarked a few months after her divorce filing that she wanted to start working again.

'I think that as a female you need to be able to always take care of yourself and never depend on a man,' she told Us Weekly. 'I’m going back to work, and I think it’s partly because I want my daughters to see me work.'

She explained that she and Eric were 'doing our best' to co-parent their children, acknowledging: 'It isn’t easy. But we are trying, and we are committed.'

The couple never finalized the divorce, which they threw out altogether in the weeks before Dane announced he was suffering from ALS. 

Dane's memoir My Book Of Days: A Memoir of Moments is out now.