Chronic Back Pain Turned Me Into a "Grumpy" Mother — Here's How I Found Relief

Megan Bettor is used to falling to the ground. For two decades, the mom of two has experienced back pain that would land her on the floor for minutes, hours, and sometimes days. "My back would fully go out and I would be immobile for days in excruciating pain, barely able to crawl to the bathroom, get out of bed, or off the floor," Bettor says. For the first 10 years of her health journey, these bouts of pain would happen on-and-off again, every couple of years.

At first, Bettor was diagnosed with torn and bulging discs, which tend to go away on their own or alongside physical therapy and/or medication like a muscle relaxant. Then, in her late 20s she was diagnosed with early degenerative disc disease, defined as the wearing down of spinal disks or loss of cushioning in the spine, per the Cleveland Clinic. This is also typically treated non-invasively with things like physical therapy, medication, or steroid injections.

The pain would "come and go, so it felt manageable in a sense," Bettor says, noting that she was on pain medication through her mid-30s to treat the symptoms . Then, things took a turn. The aching in her hips grew. The tingling in her legs became more severe. About seven years ago Bettor's husband and children watched as a firefighters picked her off the floor, as the pain paralyzed her lower half, and took her to the hospital.

Getting a Diagnosis

By 2021, Bettor's pain grew even tougher to manage. "Starting a couple of years ago, [the pain] was constant. It would come and then not go away, or it would subside, but only minutely," Bettor says. "It came to a point where I could barely get out of bed, get my teeth brushed, get my kids breakfast and lunches packed, before I was on the floor for an hour or two waiting for my back to release."

The pain became debilitating, Bettor says, and more symptoms led to more doctors. Eventually she was recommended a double disc replacement surgery overseas in Germany. "I laughed at him. I really thought he was joking," Bettor says. But at the time, it was her only option. So she contacted the doctor, got approved as a candidate, and had all but set the date. In the meantime, she was referred to another specialist to start epidural shots for inflammation and pain management. In working with them, Bettor was recommended for the first time, Boston Scientific's intercept procedure, a minimally invasive surgery that targets the basivertebral nerve to stop it from sending pain signals and ultimately providing relief for chronic vertebrogenic low back pain, her new diagnosis.

This procedure isn't typically covered by insurance, though. So while the epidural injections provided some temporary relief, Bettor and her physician worked to appeal her insurance and get the procedure covered. The mom recalls being asked by the insurance rep whether this was a matter of "life or death." At first I was like, 'no,'" she says. "But then I actually stopped for a second and said, 'It really does feel like that to me. I cannot go on living this way.'" Fortunately, in October 2023, Bettor's insurance began covering the procedure and she was booked for the surgery within a week.

"I walked out of [surgery] not long after the anesthesia wore off. I took it easy for two days in bed. I was sore...but the pain, the actual pain that I was used to experiencing, was instantly gone," she says.

Takeaways Worth Sharing

Bettor's advice to others: Don't let your pain become normalized. Now more than a year after her surgery, she says her quality of life has "dramatically changed." "I don't have great discomfort or aching in my hips and legs. I don't feel the tingling. I don't feel the severe pain when I stand up out of bed. I don't yelp while picking things up like a pair of shoes," Bettor says.

Surprisingly, the mental relief has been just as valuable as the physical. "The constant worry, 'Can I make it through today? Am I going to be able to get out of bed to see my kids and be active in their life?" — that's gone, Bettor says.

It's helped her mitigate her kid's anxiety, too. "It's changed their well being dramatically — not just because I can make them the lunch, but because they don't have a grumpy or upset or hurting mother."

The only regret Bettor has from her health journey is not advocating sooner and harder for herself. "It's amazing how many people suffer and think they just have to suffer through [the pain] — which I did, too for a while before it got so bad on a regular basis. I just assumed this was going to be part of my life."

But the more you reach out and talk to other experts, get second opinions, find another doctor, find a different type of doctor, the better, Bettor says. "Certain specialists are going to offer their approach and there's not always just one way to deal with a certain diagnosis," she says. "Keep trying, keep advocating, and keep finding different options."

Alexis Jones (she/her) is the senior health and fitness editor at PS. In her six years of editorial experience, Alexis has developed passions and areas of expertise around mental health, women's health and fitness, racial and ethnic disparities in healthcare, and chronic conditions. Prior to joining PS, she was the senior editor at Health magazine. Her other bylines can be found at Women's Health, Prevention, Marie Claire, and more.