Big Tech Is Going to Take Ass-Kissing to New Heights

Donald Trump was re-elected President of the United States on Tuesday, defeating Vice President Kamala Harris not just in the Electoral College tally but also in the popular vote. And Big Tech leaders wasted no time congratulating Trump on Wednesday, tweeting out messages that make it clear they’re ready to serve his needs however they can. It feels like a preview of the next phase, where so many will go meet Trump in person and kiss the ring of the 47th president, a man who’s promised to become a dictator on day one and deport millions of people in a scheme that’s pretty much guaranteed to devastate the economy. And it’s already making us nauseous.

The biggest beneficiary in the world of tech from Trump’s victory will almost certainly be Elon Musk, the Tesla CEO who spent at least $120 million to help Trump get elected and even spent last night at Mar-a-Lago strategizing with the once and future president. But there are plenty of other tech leaders who now must prove their fealty to Trump if they want to maintain or win new contracts with the U.S. government. And the ass-kissing line started with Amazon founder Jeff Bezos.

“Big congratulations to our 45th and now 47th President on an extraordinary political comeback and decisive victory,” Bezos tweeted Wednesday. “No nation has bigger opportunities. Wishing @realDonaldTrump all success in leading and uniting the America we all love.”

Big congratulations to our 45th and now 47th President on an extraordinary political comeback and decisive victory. No nation has bigger opportunities. Wishing @realDonaldTrump all success in leading and uniting the America we all love.

— Jeff Bezos (@JeffBezos) November 6, 2024

Trump has previously called Bezos “Jeff Bozo” and threatened Amazon repeatedly during his first term. But Bezos did Trump a solid shortly before the election, killing an endorsement of Harris by the newspaper he owns, the Washington Post. When Trump won his first term in 2016, Bezos congratulated the newly elected president by tweeting, “I for one give him my most open mind and wish him great success in his service to the country.”

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg also sent his congratulations Wednesday on Threads, the social media platform launched in July 2023 to compete with Twitter, and was reportedly terrible at keeping people updated about the election Tuesday night.

Trump previously threatened to throw Zuckerberg in prison. But even after that unhinged rant, Zuck called Trump “badass” and was signaling during the entire campaign that he was another billionaire who would help Trump however he could.

Alphabet CEO Sundar Pichai also congratulated Trump on Wednesday.

“Congratulations to President @realDonaldTrump on his decisive victory. We are in a golden age of American innovation and are committed to working with his administration to help bring the benefits to everyone,” Pichai tweeted, including a map showing Trump’s victory.

Congratulations to President @realDonaldTrump on his decisive victory. We are in a golden age of American innovation and are committed to working with his administration to help bring the benefits to everyone. pic.twitter.com/IPX7AJ8VvI

— Sundar Pichai (@sundarpichai) November 6, 2024

Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple who Trump once called “Tim Apple,” also tweeted about Trump’s victory.

Congratulations President Trump on your victory! We look forward to engaging with you and your administration to help make sure the United States continues to lead with and be fueled by ingenuity, innovation, and creativity.

— Tim Cook (@tim_cook) November 6, 2024

There were others who sent their congratulations, including Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, who wrote he was “looking forward” to engaging with Trump, Amazon CEO Andy Jassy who called Trump’s win a “hard-fought victory,” and Sam Altman who wished Trump “huge success.”

Watching a bunch of millionaires and billionaires act so servile might be a bit jarring, when you recall that Trump is the guy who reportedly told his chief of staff that Adolf Hitler “did some good things too.” But we’re entering a completely new chapter in this country. The guardrails have completely fallen off and any wealthy folks with power in the world of Big Tech won’t have to fear many social consequences as Trump transforms the country in his own image.

There is so much more ass-kissing in all of their futures.